When I was little, I used to try and make my mom make promises to me.

"Can we go tomorrow?"
"Maybe." she would respond
"Why only maybe?" I would ask
"Because I don't like to make promises I don't know if I can keep."

I was always taught that once you've made a commitment, that's it. You're in it til the end, and unless there are absolutely unavoidable circumstances, you're bound to meet those requirements. I always try very hard to follow through with what I promise. I've never made plans with the intention of breaking them. I've never intentionally stood someone up. Until tonight.

Things happened so fast, I barely had time to process them.

"Don't go. Don't call. We'll take care of it." I was instructed. And I listened. I ignored phone calls, and I let messages go unanswered. It's like I disappeared.

I don't know what to do. I feel helpless, and terrible for my actions, despite the fact that I'm told I shouldn't, and I did nothing wrong, and there's no one to feel bad for. Naturally, that just makes me feel bad about feeling bad. I know that the way things unfolded tonight were not planned, and the decisions that were made were done so with the best of intentions at heart. I trust them, and I love them, and their opinions mean everything to me. But still, I can't help but feel sad about everything.

All night long I've been struggling with "did I do the right thing?" or "did should I gone about it differently?" I think I made the right choice. I want to believe I made the right choice. But every few minutes, my mind changes again, I'm not quite sure.
2 Responses
  1. Lindsay Says:

    I don't know what's going on (feel free to call if you need to talk...I'm always here), but know that there's One you can always go to when you need solace and understanding. (Jer. 29:11). Things happen for a reason, pretty lady. We may not understand them or appreciate them at the time, but He's got a plan. I'll be praying for you. I love you and I'm always here for you.

  2. Auburn Kat Says:

    Without knowing the entire story it's kind of hard to understand. Just remember...be caring and honest with people. It's something I try to live by.

Post a Comment