"Oh, your brother is off skiing with the youth group this weekend" she says offhandedly.

"What?! Skiing?!" I say.

"Yes. And not only did he get someone in the church to sponsor him, but his friend also lent him some top of the line snow ski gear. Complete with the snow suit, face mask, iPod, and special headphones"

"WHAT?! That's crazy! I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's making me so jealous!!!!"

"Oh, don't be jealous, be happy for him!"

It's taken me a few days to recover from that last statement there. How many times in our lifetime have we been oh-so jealous of someone in our lives? I've been sitting here mulling it over, and the I've come to the realization that the more independent I become, and the more of my own money I spend, the easier it is to be swept up in a wave of jealousy for all the things I don't have.

It's incredibly difficult to be HAPPY! ALL the time! for everyone around you. Granted, I'm not always stewing in this pot of jealousy every minute of every day, but I'd be lying if I said that I was never jealous of some of the things that my friends have. And I'm not just talking about material items either. Also, I'm incredibly grateful for what I do have. I'm lucky enough to have a warm bed to cuddle up in, comfy sweats to relax in, and make enough money to get by. But, it's not my dream job, and it's not what I insisted on going to my fancy private university for.

It takes a lot to swallow that pill labeled JEALOUS on one side and PRIDE on the other, and just be happy. It's not that I don't love everyone in my life, I do. And I really am truly happy for them when great things happen. I am. I promise! It's just that after the excitement dies down, and it's back to just me and my crazy thoughts, I start to feel that sad feeling creeping up on me. Am I the only one that struggles with this?

This post isn't inspired by any one person in my life. It's not even inspired by a particular event either. Merely just taken from something a very wise person told me about not being jealous, but just being happy.

1 Response
  1. It's the hardest thing that any of us do, taking the step away from jealousy and toward something better is the hardest part of growing up (and from what I understand, we have to deal with it our whole lives. sometimes I wish that the hard things were like chicken pox...once you've had it, you're good for life). Miss you.

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