Ohmygoshi

Monday's weather was a glorious 61, and somewhat sunny depending on what side of the district you were on. Sure, it looked sunny and gorgeous blue sky in Georgetown, but 3 miles up the road in Friendship Heights, The Clouds of Doom lurked. It was as if Mother Nature was giving us a sneak peak of what Spring would be like.

Photo by: kkairies
The mix of dark clouds and brilliant sun made for a gorgeous sunset over the Nation's Capitol last night, and my twitter feed came to life with mentions of brilliant oranges and reds filling the sky. Colorful sunsets are one of the things I miss the most about Florida. It may be hot as hell, but I'll be damned if they don't get some amazing color at dusk. And if you're on the coast? Forget All You Can Eat Crab night, you're too mesmerized to do anything other than stare at the bright pinks, purples, oranges, and reds that highlight the horizon. It's like God let the baby Cherubs go to town with the Crayola crayons in the sky.

When I first read that the weather would be all the way in the 60s, I was slightly disappointed. I'm the girl that moved away from Florida to avoid warm Januarys, what the heck is DC doing by warming up so much?! But then I realized I could leave without my coat, and you might as well have told me Chick-Fil-A was opening up next door, because diggity, my mood instantly skyrocketed.

Just like I wait for Christmas with baited breathe, come middle of January, I'm counting down the days 'til spring. Those delicious temperatures where it's not too cold, but not too hot. You'll want to take a sweater with you, but you don't have to worry about burning up the second you even think about putting it on. Mmm mmm good. But I digress...

I have some obvious trust issues, and I was too nervous to wear the summer skirt, in fear that the Weather Man was indeed lying to me. Instead, I pulled out the khaki capris (I don't care if you dislike them. They are love.), grabbed a short sleeve shirt, and a light sweater.

Did you read that? A light sweater. In January. In D.C..

I stepped out into that warm sunshine, felt that cool breeze, and it was total bliss. Seriously, how does anyone live anywhere where it's NOT like this all the time? I kick myself everyday for not applying to UC San Diego. I was all smiles all day.

Alas, as all good things do, the day had to come to an end. As soon as the sun set, we were back to the miserable cold. Someone obviously reminded Mother Nature, that it was actually still January, and happiness is not allowed in these parts until at least March. So she rounded off the dropping temperatures with rain. And wind.

And all I had was a light sweater.

Curses.
Ohmygoshi
Sometimes, I'll be sitting on the bus and I'll suddenly realize "whoa, I actually live here. In Washington D.C.." Do you ever have those surreal, I can't believe I'm a big girl, moments? I feel like I get them all the time.

A lot of the times, I feel like I'm still 12 years old, trying so hard to disguise myself as a grown-up. I've always ALWAYS wanted to play with the big kids. The little girl I work with is the exact same way. She's absolutely fascinated by the big girls at her playgroup. She'll follow them around and constantly ask if they want to play with her. Sometimes, they'll humor her, and play with her for a few moments, and then there are other times when they'll simply brush her off. This does not deter her. She'll march right up and ask them point blank what their problem is, and why are they being so grumpy?! I've got 20 years on her, and I'm only just now learning to stand up to the big girls!

Sometimes, I'm afraid I'll be found out, discovered as an imposter in this world full of adults and grown-ups. I'll have to explain myself, and hope that they understand I just wanted to be like them! The life they lead is so fancy and grown-up I just wanted to play in their world for a little while! I'm afraid people will think "Oh she's so young! She doesn't know anything about real life". Then I'm hit with the sudden realization that I am a grown-up. There's no pretending, and I have my own set of real, grown-up problems to deal with, and wow this is so not as fancy as I originally thought it would be! Sure, getting dressed up to meet for cocktails is fun at first, but then it's not so fun when you realize just how much money you spent on a single night out in the city! And Daddy is SO NOT willing to help you out. Yikes!

And then there are times when I think I'm a lot older that I really am. So many of my friends are getting married, and having babies, I feel like I'm way behind on the curve. I have to physically stop myself and say "Ohmygoshi! Get a grip! You're only 22!". I just can't win!

I'm teetering on the edge of being a kid and being an adult. I feel like it's a thin line between being too young and too old (and for the record, I'm not calling anyone in my life old!). But so often, we want to be the person next to us, and not the person staring back at us on the other side of the mirror. Please tell me I'm not the only one that struggles with feeling too young or old! If I am, I think I may have to invest in some serious therapy.

And that will only make me feel older than I really am!




Ohmygoshi
"Oh, your brother is off skiing with the youth group this weekend" she says offhandedly.

"What?! Skiing?!" I say.

"Yes. And not only did he get someone in the church to sponsor him, but his friend also lent him some top of the line snow ski gear. Complete with the snow suit, face mask, iPod, and special headphones"

"WHAT?! That's crazy! I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's making me so jealous!!!!"

"Oh, don't be jealous, be happy for him!"

It's taken me a few days to recover from that last statement there. How many times in our lifetime have we been oh-so jealous of someone in our lives? I've been sitting here mulling it over, and the I've come to the realization that the more independent I become, and the more of my own money I spend, the easier it is to be swept up in a wave of jealousy for all the things I don't have.

It's incredibly difficult to be HAPPY! ALL the time! for everyone around you. Granted, I'm not always stewing in this pot of jealousy every minute of every day, but I'd be lying if I said that I was never jealous of some of the things that my friends have. And I'm not just talking about material items either. Also, I'm incredibly grateful for what I do have. I'm lucky enough to have a warm bed to cuddle up in, comfy sweats to relax in, and make enough money to get by. But, it's not my dream job, and it's not what I insisted on going to my fancy private university for.

It takes a lot to swallow that pill labeled JEALOUS on one side and PRIDE on the other, and just be happy. It's not that I don't love everyone in my life, I do. And I really am truly happy for them when great things happen. I am. I promise! It's just that after the excitement dies down, and it's back to just me and my crazy thoughts, I start to feel that sad feeling creeping up on me. Am I the only one that struggles with this?

This post isn't inspired by any one person in my life. It's not even inspired by a particular event either. Merely just taken from something a very wise person told me about not being jealous, but just being happy.


Ohmygoshi
I suppose it's about that time that I do a post for 2010. So far, we're 18 days in to the new year! Congrats to making it this far!! So, tell me all about it, old friend. How've your last 18 days been?? Did Santa treat you well last Christmas? How are those resolutions coming? I think my favorite story was from my cousin who's New Year's Resolution lasted all of 45 minutes into the new year. Oh well, what can you do? Sometimes the drunk munchies are just too overwhelming, and the wings are powerful!

I kicked the new year off with a wedding (not mine, sadly enough. But I did manage to catch the bouquet that was thrown DIRECTLY AT MY FACE). After that, I hightailed it back to snowy DC, where I've spent the last two weeks hanging out with the most adorable, and articulate 2.5 year old and her 3 month old brother. Seriously, this kid is 2.5 going on 35. She speaks in full, clear, paragraphs, and if given the opportunity, I could quote her for days. I get chastised for being too silly, and she has to remind me that strollers are NOT race cars, and do NOT go vroom! You know it's bad when the little kid is telling you to be mature. We do all kinds of fun thing together, because I can only stand to read so many books and play with her play farm animals for so many hours, so we've taken field trips to the zoo, All Fired Up, and various play places. She's a hoot, and I'm so lucky to have found her, her rocking mom, and her sweet (albeit extremely cranky at times) brother. This little person provides endless entertainment, and countless laughs. She's a constant reminder to just how awesome little kids can be.

Is it just me, or does 2010 (twenty ten? two thousand ten?) seem to be The Year of The Wedding? As I mentioned, I was already at one wedding this year, I know of two more happening in April, I have a Save The Date on my board for May, I know there are multiple ones taking place in June, and at least one other friend is expecting something sparkly sometime this year. Um...hello single friends, where did you all go?? Not that I'm against getting married! I'm all for it, and all the lovely, mushy stuff that comes with it!! Yay for marriage! But really, did y'all have to go and do it at the same time? Oye! I only have one request: don't forget us single ladies and please make sure to invite all the groom's hot and single guy friends! This. Is. Key.

This year, I have narrowed it down to three areas of my life that need improving:
  1. Job
  2. Gym
  3. Love life
The JGL, if you will (NOT to be confused with The Jersey Shore's "GTL: Gym, Tanning, Laundry". That's an entirely separate post). That's all I want. Really. Is that too much to hope for? I certainly don't think so! This year is already starting to fly by. January is already half over!!! Before we know it, it will be April, and then June, and then October, and then Christmas again! Dear Father Time, please slooowww down a little, and give us some time to breathe! Who knows where I'll be this time next year. While I'm exactly where I wanted to be location wise, I'm certainly not where I wanted to be career wise. But, life happens, and I can't really remember the last time life actually went the way I originally planned.

Ohh how I've missed blogging. I really have. One would think that if I missed it so much, I would blog more often, but like I said to my mom about coming home "I have to leave in order to want to come back". It's true! The weight and pressure of having to post everyday is absolutely draining. It's nice to know, however, that when I do need it, my blog is still here for me to post all my mundane thoughts. So with that, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from my new favorite 2.5 year old:

Her: Did you miss me?
Me: I did! Did you miss me???
Her: Yes. But, now we found each other, and we're together again.
Seriously, does it get any cuter than that?! Goodnight, folks!