The other night at dinner, some friends and I were chatting and one of them posed a question about the "friends zone". She said that her brother argues that once a guy enters the "friends zone" that's it. He's there forever, and there's no chance for getting out.

What do you think? If you like a guy, but he either A). doesn't show interest immediately, or B). just wants to be friends, and you put him in the friends zone, is he there permanently? What do you do if he suddenly shows interest? I kind of think it's not. If I really like a guy, and he doesn't show interest back, I'm content with being just friends. But then if he changes his mind later, I would at least give it a second thought. I don't know if I would jump into it immediately, but the possibilities would cross my mind.

What are your thoughts? Once you've put a guy there, is it possible for him to get out of the "friends zone"??
3 Responses
  1. drbolte Says:

    i actually think that, for the most part, this is true despite the GLARING EXCEPTION that is my life currently.

    or perhaps i should say that with the friends zone comes a stoppage of momentum. let's say you meet somebody, recognize that there is some mutual interest, and then keep talking, start to date, etc...there's built in momentum there. you don't really have to do anything to it except let it keep going. objects in motion stay in motion until acted upon my some outside force.

    friends zone = outside force.


    i think that romance can definitely spring from friendship, and i actually think that's the way it ought to be. it's great to meet someone new and immediately get swept away into a relationship of one kind or another, but you never really build that bedrock foundation of mutual respect and admiration. you don't really know each other. when you're friends, you do. it makes making the decision about whether or not to date so much easier, because you absolutely know who and what you're getting.

    it just takes a WHOLE lot of courage on both sides. i think that's the problem. people, in general, lack courage. don't really go after what they want. don't really speak up about how they are feeling. if we did that more, we'd probably be a lot happier.

    if i can do it, anybody can.

  2. magda Says:

    I'm a believer in friendship as a place, as a state of mind; sure. I think it's easy to get locked into that. But a forever-style unbreachable zone? No. Definitely not. I think a lot of guys use friendship as a sort of shield that allows them to avoid facing up to their real feelings, and the vulnerabilities that emotions necessarily bring. I think that's a real shame. I'm a definite believer in the possibility of fluid relationships.

  3. Kelly Says:

    A guy I knew named Mike went into the The Friends Zone when I met him in 1991.

    We just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary in December.

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