Today, I listened to a song that I've been successfully avoiding for almost 2 years now. It used to be my absolute favorite. I listened to it everyday, I set it as my message alert, it just made me happy. Then that all changed, and those memories that I associated with it were too painful to think about, so I banished it from my life.

As I was getting ready to write this, I brought up the new Ingrid Michaelson CD, and the first song is "Be OK" in which the chorus says "I just wanna be ok be ok be ok". The me of two years would have taken that song and made it her anthem. But the me of today, the me of right now, knows that I am already OK.

Tonight, I was just in a Jack Johnson mood. I bravely clicked on the song, and sang along. The memories from way back when didn't come flooding back in a painful flurry, but instead, only a few came to mind, and I actually smiled. Someone once told me "don't let good memories go to waste, and don't let good lessons in life get swallowed up in pain". I've done that for so long, but now I realized I've gotten to that point of just "remembering" and not being consumed by that heartbreaking feeling all over again.

It's a good place to be, and I'm happy about it.
2 Responses
  1. LindzML Says:

    Good for you. That song is entirely too wonderful in its own right to harbor any bad memories. And maybe the memories themselves aren't that bad. Maybe the person in the memories was the bad thing, and once that's been overcome, things do seem better.

    Please tell me you've listened to Sleep Through The Static (the album). It's like wrapping up in a warm blanket on a cold rainy day and taking a fabulous nap. No bad memories with that.

  2. chickbug Says:

    This made me smile. It is such a wonderful feeling to realize you have grown and you can actually see the progress.

    p.s.-love that song.

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