Dr. Bolte graciously took time out of her busy dissertation-writing schedule (BRILLIANCE is not for those who have nothing to do) to write a guest blog for me today. She's on the top of my list of "bloggers I want to meet in real-life". She was one of Lindz's English profs last year, so you KNOW she's got good stuff to say. By the power vested in Facebook, we were declared friends, and it's been bliss ever since. :)

what did you want to be when you grew up?

you know, before all of the things that tell us what we should be or what we can't be get in the way of what we really want to be? did you want to be a fairy princess, a fireman, a race car driver, a super star? ladies, did you put a towel on your head and pretend to be a bride? guys, did you grab a wrapping paper tube and pretend to fight evil using a lightsaber and your powerful connection to the Force?

did you believe that you could do it?

when i was little, i had lots of dreams. when i was in fourth grade, i wanted to be a criminal defense attorney. i watched Matlock with my grandparents every monday night while my mom went to college at night, and all i saw was that Matlock saved the world every week. i wanted to do that too. i also wanted to be a hairdresser, a grocery store checkout girl, and a receptionist at a doctor's office.

(i actually did one of those. i'll let you guess which.)

i love kids. i love how they believe that they can do everything and anything. i love that they don't listen to you when you tell them that those paper wings they made won't let them fly. i love that they take everything on faith. i love that they believe in themselves completely.

think back. when you wanted to be a princess, or a fireman, or a superstar, or when you were battling the forces of darkness or preparing to walk down the aisle to some imagined wedding march, it never once occurred to you that you didn't belong there. that somehow you weren't pretty enough to be a princess, powerful enough to fight off Lord Vader, or amazing enough to be someone's bride.

of course it didn't.

because when we were kids, we believed in magic. fairies could be brought back to life with applause. imaginary friends made the best company. the most exciting stories were the ones that we made up ourselves. the greatest adventures were the kind that happened when our neighborhood transcended the everyday and became the playground of our imaginations.

but the greatest magic we believed in was the magic within us.

somehow, that fades quickly when we grow. we shoot up a couple of inches and gain a few more doubts. by the time we're all adults, we listen to the doubtful voices--the ones that tell us our limits instead of our potential, all of the ways in which we don't measure up.


why do we do that?

i want to believe in magic again. every christmas i so desperately want to believe in santa claus. i watch miracle on 34th street and the santa clause a million times because i hope that maybe, just maybe, it's all true. there's something intoxicating about that concept of magic. but, really, more than anything, i want to believe in the kind of magic that makes me comfortably belong in all of those dreams that i hold in the secret part of my heart.

i need my paper wings to hold me while i take giant leaps of faith.

some days, i really think they will.

do you believe yours can?
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1 Response
  1. chickbug Says:

    i love this post. yes! i do want to believe in magic...and sometimes, when i stop over-analyzing, stressing or trying to make other people happy...i do experience the pure joy of just living. and to me, that is magical.

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