There are two things I physically hate. Only two. Spiders and Snakes. The thought of them both make my skin crawl and my insides turn. God forbid there two in the same area, I think I'd hyperventilate myself to death. Both are just hideous creatures and if I could go a single day without ever seeing one, I'd die happy. Did you know that in some places of the world there are spiders as big as DOGS? Like, they eat people.

And snakes, o don't get me started on them. In the Museum of Natural History, there is a room you go into, and right above this huge display window is a giant python on the wall. I damn near jumped out of my skin when I saw it. I can't even watch them on tv. I remember once when I was a kid, we were at the mall and for some God forsaken reason there was an animal trainer guy there with his 20 ft long snake, and he lined up all the little kids to help hold it. I refused. I sat there in my spot and RE-FUS-ED. My mom tried telling me it wasn't slimy or anything, and they felt "really cool" nope. Not buying it, lady. Not. At. All.

There are two spiders living in my garage. One right above the door, and the other right to the right where the light switch is. I usually open the garage door super quickly and RUN out. They're not just tiny spiders either. They are like queen bee spiders.

About two days ago, I noticed a HUGE spider on my WALL. my BEDROOM WALL. I froze up. Physically could not move. Then I watched it fall off the wall. Onto a cat. One who will gladly eat spiders. She sits up, stares at something for a few seconds and then goes to drink water. I assume she's eaten the spider because who wouldn't want to drink a gallon of water after eating a spider? I'd want to wash the taste off my tongue too.

Well, tonight, my friends, I have just learned that no, she did not eat the spider. It appeared on the OTHER side of my room. It fell off the wall again, I hope it's dying. Why might I wish for a sudden death on a creature of God? The answer is simple. BECAUSE IT'S IN MY CLOSET. I can never go in there again!

I don't know what to do....what if I wake up and it's, I don't know, on my FACE or something? I think you'd hear my screams all the way in India. My useless brothers refuse to help me out. What good does it do to have a man around the house if he does nothing? Nothing I say! He falls asleep wherever he pleases and he uses clean laundry as his pillow. Then he flat out refuses to help me out. I'd go sleep upstairs, but no, he's chosen to sleep there. Why? I'm not sure, it's not like he doesn't have his OWN ROOM or anything. And I totally didn't give him my SUPER COMFORTABLE feathertop for his bed. Nope. Nope. Why use that when there's a perfectly not as comfortable futon upstairs?

A message to my brother: when your sister is going out of her mind because there is a huge ass spider in her bedroom, don't get up too quickly to help her. You might trip and fall over your own ego.

Ugh. Every twitch I feel on my body now I freak out. It could be the spider climbing up my arm trying to eat me or something!

I hate spiders
Update: it is dead. i killed it. but now i feel remorse. damnit, i hate feelings. more on this later.
Labels: , , | edit post
1 Response
  1. Anonymous Says:

    LMAO LMAO LMAO u sure know how to make a chica laugh!

Post a Comment