I do a lot of my thinking in the shower.

Seriously, it's where I go to wash off the stress of the day. It's the place where I know I am absolutely one hundred percent alone. Nothing but me and the water rhythmically falling on my back. I don't have to listen to other people talk, or worry about anyone else's feelings. I set the oval dial at just the right place that the water creates a warm envelope of steam. I take a deep breathe and let my lungs fully expand and then let it all out with an exhale.

Usually, if I'm having a problem, I'll take a shower and just sit in there for a little bit. I bring all my thoughts to the table and I try to sort them. Sometimes, I scream at my frustrations. I think about life, what could be better, what's going pretty well. I make lists in my head about things that I need to do. Some of them are things that I want to look up online things like, "I wonder what ad agency does L'Oreal? It would be fun to work for L'Oreal. I'm going to look that up later." Sometimes, I do math in the shower. I'll add up prices of things I want to buy and use the beige tiles as my paper, and my finger as my ballpoint pen.

I scold myself for things I meant to do, but didn't. I make promises to myself to be better about things. I think about how many "100 %" it's going to take to get that A in that class. I think about the ups and downs of the day, the week, the month, the year. I think about the new people in my life, and how they've changed it, how lucky I am to have them here at this point in my life and how God put them there for a reason. I also think a lot about my Exes, both friends and boyfriends. I wonder what they're up to at that very moment. Do they ever think about me? Probably not. I think of all the things I could should have said. I'm my bravest when I'm in the shower. I have imaginary conversations and say everything I wanted to say in person, but didn't. I plan out things I want to write here, topics I want to talk about, blogs I want to read. When I was in high school, I'd try and go over dance counts in my head; softly humming the song and marking the moves the best I could in the small space. Now I try to remember facts I learned in the day in my various classes. I acknowledge random thoughts that come into my head and laugh at funny memories. Every now and then, I let myself wallow a bit. I go back to that painful memory, I let my shoulders slump a little and let my head hang a little lower. Then I think about how far I've come since then.

I dream in the shower too. Where my life will be in 10 years. What's it going to take to get there? Who will I be? Married? With kids? Career? Big house? Dog? Black AmEx? (keeping my fingers crossed for that one! Alright, all of them). The shower is my safe haven. Sometimes, I'll just go and let the water gently massage my back and neck. I position the shower head slightly to the right so I can lean against the wall and just...think. I let my mind wander. I relax. I let the water roll down my neck and off my shoulders.

And then I let my problems do the same thing.

Where do you do all your thinking??
4 Responses
  1. Z Says:

    I do a lot of thinking in the shower as well, and also in bed in the time between shutting out the lights and falling asleep... Also, at the beginning of my runs (when I can run... and by the end, all I usually am thinking is, "how close am I to being done?")

    Also - I have a friend who works for L'Oreal. If you really wanna know more about them, I can ask him... ;)

  2. Ohmygoshi Says:

    z - I do a lot of thinking right before I go to sleep too. I wish I liked running enough, to do it often! hah!

    you would rock my world if you could get me some info on L'Oreal!!!

  3. Anonymous Says:

    man. i need to do more of this. i think i am getting to the point where i'm starting to think in the gym. i think when i walk to class, which is about a 4-7 minute walk (depending on how late i am or how much i saunter). i don't have much else to do when i'm walking, so i think. i wish that i could do it so that i resolve things, but most of the time it just gets me thinking more. sometimes the thinking just lets me articulate them...and that's when i blog.

    by far my best thinking, though, happens when i'm driving long distances. long stretches of highway that i've traveled on multiple times are the best places to let my mind wander. the blacktop doesn't sing me to sleep--it seems to trigger the stuff that's been percolating in the back of my head to come forward. i've gotten ideas for how to put an argument together for a paper i was writing, i've gotten answers to prayers, i've had questions that i've been dealing with for weeks, even months, suddenly crystalize when i am driving.

    i have no idea why that is.

    maybe it's time for a road trip. :)

  4. Anonymous Says:

    I love how poetically this is written, I hope to see this style more! It makes me smile :D

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