Tonight, I was lingering on the mini facebook profile of an ex, (It's private and I don't have access. Don't you hate it when that happens? Bastard.) and I looked at the button on the right that read "Send Message" and almost considered clicking on it. Then I realized, What are you doing?! You JUST told someone else that staying away is better. Why would you go and send a message?". That made me sit up and think. Let's face it, giving the advice is much easier than following it. And while I cringe at my own hypocrisy, I feel that no matter how much you may think you're over someone, there may always be a tender spot that makes you wince every now and then. I told my fellow blogging friend, that chapter of my life is over, and I like where I'm at now, and it's true. I do like where I am, who I am, much better than I did before. I've been asked plenty of times, "So, do you think you're over him?" and though the answer is "yes" every now and then a memory will pop into my head or a song will cause me to think in the past. It's hard getting over someone, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, because they're lying.

At the same time, I don't know if I envy those who have never been heartbroken. I feel, and I say this carefully, that you become a stronger person because of it. You learn that life does go on, and you become a survivor in your own right. I'm not saying that those who haven't are less of a person, just that those who have survived to tell the tale, have that much more life experience. Someone once told me that they didn't trust anyone who hadn't had their heart broken. This really affected me, and has stayed with me ever since. Are there really people out there who don't know the feeling?

What I do envy, are those who never feel emotion and pretend it never happened, although I think such mythical creatures don't exist. I kind of feel that it's better to acknowledge the pain every now and then instead of denying it. You for sure can't deny the relationship ever happened. Acknowledge it, let it linger for a few seconds, then let go of it. Rinse. Wash. Repeat. I already feel a little bit better than I did 10 minuets ago, even if it's just a little bit. A lot of little adds up to something big. And that's something to smile about.
1 Response
  1. LindzML Says:

    First of all, I'm really glad that you're feeling better than you did 10 minuets ago, because DAMN GIRL, where'd you find all that music? I'm very excited for you, minutes are beautiful little pieces.

    Second of all, I think I might just be the ONLY person in the world that's never had her heart broken. Because it's never happened, it's one of my biggest fears. For serious. You changed because of your breakups (they were GOOD things, it's not like you turned into the lady that sat on her b/f's toilet for 2 years), and I'm happy for you because of those changes. So...remember the good moments, but when you start feeling a little TOO sad because they're gone? Remember all the bad ones. Yeah. They really did suck. You're way better off without him. I love you!!!

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