so here is the required "year in review" post.

I have to say, that on first glance, this year sucked. For me, it had an awful start. A broken heart is no way to start a year. For the first few days, it looked like it was going to be a promising reconciliation, what with "things getting back to where they were before"...but things changed. and boy did they change fast. My spring semester was spent being couped up in Leonard 624 with shattered self-esteem, a roommate I didn't like, a heart in a million pieces, and few friends there to support me like I thought they would. I was miserable, and breaking down in a fit of tears to my mother almost every night. Oddly enough, it was my best semester academically. Hmph.

My family went through an emotional rough patch as well, with betrayal running rampant and threatening to destroy everything that had been built up between us for the past 10 years. Although things seem to have gotten better now, I can only wonder how long it will be before it all goes to hell again. It's not that I don't love and cherish my family, but sometimes I feel that there are certain issues that run too deep to be ignored like they have been, and they certainly can't be fixed with a quick trip to Japan.

I traveled Italy and Spain, but came out broker than broke in the end. I was "de-friended" on myspace and facebook. I was charged a ridiculously absurd amount for my "over-weight" luggage. I went to the wrong airport! Right after I finished chastising my brother for his irresponsibility (he had four phones this year) I accidentally sent my camera through the washing machine. twice. I started working for a family that can be incredibly draining sometimes. I'm the only one in my family that ends this year alone.

Yet here I am the last day of the year and, although this year was challenging, it was was filled with triumphs too.

I grew so much as a friend, a Christian, and as a human being. I realized more about myself than ever before. As I've said before, it's not about being right, it's about being understood. Sometimes there is no advice to give, you just have to be there to listen. Although being around children so much can be extremely draining and difficult, it's rewarding too. You're reminded of how beautiful things are. Children don't know the pain and heartaches, and life is always a surprise for them. They can walk around for an hour making up words to an endless tune dedicated to "yucky-man". Their biggest upsets are when they're forced to eat dinner AT THE TABLE instead of on the floor in front of the television, or when they can't properly communicate that they want BOOTY for lunch instead of chicken nuggets. It's amazing how smart kids can be. At two and three years old, they will tell me shapes and numbers and colors and animals that go with what letters. Eyes light up when DW and Arthur come on the screen, and books and puzzles keep them entertained for hours! It's those moments when I'm rocking the baby to sleep and she studies me and my face or when she puts her head on my chest before finally drifting off into a blissful dream, that keep me coming back. Those moments of amazement and wonder that kids can bring make it easy to overlook the past two hours of screaming and running around.

I went to Italy and Spain!! I spent six amazing weeks in Europe, and made so many new friends. I had adventures around the cities of Rome and Pisa, I saw so many historical landmarks, I sailed the freaking Mediterranean Sea, I survived a natural disaster, and I have amazing pictures to prove it all. Sure, I came out broker than broke, but I really don't think I'd trade it all in - even if it means listening to Mom complain about it all for the next year...I learned that it's ok to open up, it's better to know than to wonder what if. I found some great new music to help guide me through my grief and troubles. It's always better to know that there are other people out there that feel the same way you do, and you're not being silly.

I can't help but look back at where I was a year ago today, and compare who I am now to who I was then. I'm excited for what 2008 has to bring. My 21st birthday is a big event for me, as is my brother's graduation (it's a scary thought to know he's college-bound). Along with my bro's graduation comes my dad's visit from Japan. It'll be the first time I've seen him since I graduated in 3 years. I'll hopefully have had an internship or two, and maybe even secured a job for the year AFTER that. I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't still ache a little bit. I'm still clinging to the idea that that's normal. I wish I could say I had no regrets about 2007, but I do (washing my camera is a big one). After sorting through this mess of a year, I can see that overall it was a good year, a growing year. I'm definitely not that same girl that sat here a year ago. I'm sure God has a lot of growing in store for me, and I'm curious to know what my post will be like this time next year.

Happy New Year!
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1 Response
  1. LindzML Says:

    It HAS been a crazy year, and I'm so glad that I've gotten to see (or hear about) all of it. I love you, happy new year!!!!

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