i knew it was a bad idea to drink that cup of coffee at 10:30...but i just couldn't help it. i had made it, i couldn't let it go to waste...

so now i'm wide awake. at 3:05 am. with a 9:55 in the morning. lovely. things that have been on my mind lately:

not much. ok, that's a lie, but really it's just been the same stuff i've blogged about in the past few entries. needing to be needed...blah blah blah. i've been missing everything home this past week. my friends, family, house, car, everything. i read over my facebook wall-to-wall with lindz today, and it's so amusing, the things we say to each other at random times. ah, i love that girl. i think one reason this summer was great was because we got so close again. we've always been close, but it was just refreshed. (yes? no? maybe?).

i'm super excited that this is Premiere Week on ABC! wooooo for Grey's, Private Practice, and Brothers & Sisters!! B&S is going to present problems for me and my dear roommate though. It plays on Sunday nights, but what else plays on sundays?? a little thing called Sunday Night Football. Yes, it's that important it gets proper caps - no joke. If the Patriots are playing, i don't even think it's worth trying to fight. Homeboy looooves his Patriots, nothing comes in his way of watching them. Granted, Brotheres & Sisters is available on ABC.com the next day, but i should get to watch it on tv every now and then, right??

tonight, i wrote out my contribution to my brother's senior page. surprise surprise, i actually like the kid after all ;) i actually had a lot to say, and i hope i don't have to cut it down (i always hate having to do that...). he's accomplished so much, and is dangerously smart. we're siblings, so there have definitely been times when i wanted nothing to do with him, but secretly, i am super proud of him. I think he dealt well as well as he could with being the middle child. just like he'll never know what it's like to be the oldest (not always what it's cracked up to be...), i'm sure that being the middle is not an easy job. i think we'll all agree that the baby has it best. he always will. maybe it's because my mom was the baby, or he's just the golden child. My uncle recently saw a picture of the three of us when LB (littlest Bro) was just a babe. his comment? "Look, it's A, B, and Bart Simpson" - for some reason he's always thought LB looked like bart simpson. i don't see it, but it makes me smile.

i was leafing through my senior yearbook fishing for inspiration on what to write, and i'll admit, some things definitely made me a little teary. it's SO hard for me to fathom the fact that in a few months my brother will be graduating high school!! it's even harder for me to process the fact that i've been in college for 3 years now! how can that be? I just started! Just last week I was a freshman! and two weeks before that, I was struggling to finish up my senior year of high school and IB! how can it be that my brother is now picking out senior pictures and writing college entrance essays?!? i'm turning 21 in a little more than 6 months! where did it all go?

People are getting married, having babies, their lives are falling into place. am i supposed to have these things figured out soon?? i've always thought that i wanted to have my first kid by the time i was 27, but i wanted to have been married for at least 3 years before that. which puts me at getting married at 24, at the latest!! yikes! that's not far away when i think about everything in perspective! i'm too young to be worring about all this internal clock stuff! too young i say!
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