so here is the required "year in review" post.

I have to say, that on first glance, this year sucked. For me, it had an awful start. A broken heart is no way to start a year. For the first few days, it looked like it was going to be a promising reconciliation, what with "things getting back to where they were before"...but things changed. and boy did they change fast. My spring semester was spent being couped up in Leonard 624 with shattered self-esteem, a roommate I didn't like, a heart in a million pieces, and few friends there to support me like I thought they would. I was miserable, and breaking down in a fit of tears to my mother almost every night. Oddly enough, it was my best semester academically. Hmph.

My family went through an emotional rough patch as well, with betrayal running rampant and threatening to destroy everything that had been built up between us for the past 10 years. Although things seem to have gotten better now, I can only wonder how long it will be before it all goes to hell again. It's not that I don't love and cherish my family, but sometimes I feel that there are certain issues that run too deep to be ignored like they have been, and they certainly can't be fixed with a quick trip to Japan.

I traveled Italy and Spain, but came out broker than broke in the end. I was "de-friended" on myspace and facebook. I was charged a ridiculously absurd amount for my "over-weight" luggage. I went to the wrong airport! Right after I finished chastising my brother for his irresponsibility (he had four phones this year) I accidentally sent my camera through the washing machine. twice. I started working for a family that can be incredibly draining sometimes. I'm the only one in my family that ends this year alone.

Yet here I am the last day of the year and, although this year was challenging, it was was filled with triumphs too.

I grew so much as a friend, a Christian, and as a human being. I realized more about myself than ever before. As I've said before, it's not about being right, it's about being understood. Sometimes there is no advice to give, you just have to be there to listen. Although being around children so much can be extremely draining and difficult, it's rewarding too. You're reminded of how beautiful things are. Children don't know the pain and heartaches, and life is always a surprise for them. They can walk around for an hour making up words to an endless tune dedicated to "yucky-man". Their biggest upsets are when they're forced to eat dinner AT THE TABLE instead of on the floor in front of the television, or when they can't properly communicate that they want BOOTY for lunch instead of chicken nuggets. It's amazing how smart kids can be. At two and three years old, they will tell me shapes and numbers and colors and animals that go with what letters. Eyes light up when DW and Arthur come on the screen, and books and puzzles keep them entertained for hours! It's those moments when I'm rocking the baby to sleep and she studies me and my face or when she puts her head on my chest before finally drifting off into a blissful dream, that keep me coming back. Those moments of amazement and wonder that kids can bring make it easy to overlook the past two hours of screaming and running around.

I went to Italy and Spain!! I spent six amazing weeks in Europe, and made so many new friends. I had adventures around the cities of Rome and Pisa, I saw so many historical landmarks, I sailed the freaking Mediterranean Sea, I survived a natural disaster, and I have amazing pictures to prove it all. Sure, I came out broker than broke, but I really don't think I'd trade it all in - even if it means listening to Mom complain about it all for the next year...I learned that it's ok to open up, it's better to know than to wonder what if. I found some great new music to help guide me through my grief and troubles. It's always better to know that there are other people out there that feel the same way you do, and you're not being silly.

I can't help but look back at where I was a year ago today, and compare who I am now to who I was then. I'm excited for what 2008 has to bring. My 21st birthday is a big event for me, as is my brother's graduation (it's a scary thought to know he's college-bound). Along with my bro's graduation comes my dad's visit from Japan. It'll be the first time I've seen him since I graduated in 3 years. I'll hopefully have had an internship or two, and maybe even secured a job for the year AFTER that. I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't still ache a little bit. I'm still clinging to the idea that that's normal. I wish I could say I had no regrets about 2007, but I do (washing my camera is a big one). After sorting through this mess of a year, I can see that overall it was a good year, a growing year. I'm definitely not that same girl that sat here a year ago. I'm sure God has a lot of growing in store for me, and I'm curious to know what my post will be like this time next year.

Happy New Year!


I'm the last one awake in my house, and I was taking out my contacts and getting ready for bed, I swear I heard bells jingling.

We took our last final of the semester. We argued about going to see the Christmas tree on the Ellipse - I wanted to go, but you didn't. We were waiting in the restaurant in Gallery Place, and you kissed me unexpectedly, "just because". We watched The Pursuit of Happyness and got ice cream after. Later, you looked me in my teary eyes and told me everything was going to be "ok". I believed your lie.

A year ago today, you kissed me goodbye.

when I get stressed i like to make lists. Lists of what I still have to do, lists of things I like, lists of things I want. Currently, my desktop is covered in post-it notes of these lists. It's quite sad.

I can't believe this year is coming to a close. It's definitely been a year to remember, and it's actually gone by really fast. I'll have a full commentary on it later, after I've had some more time to process my thoughts on it.

I was at my friend's place all night studying for two (2!!) midterms today, my weekend was spent in the library, with my nose buried in finance and organizational behavior, and yet, I'm not as miserable as I could be. This semester I was lucky enough to make friends with a bunch of great girls, that I don't know what I'd do without.

Anyways, my massive amount of studying isn't going away anytime soon, so I'm going to get back to it!

I got this idea from storked! Here are seven things that you may or may not know about me!

  • I've recently become obsessed with the show Bones. I watch at least one episode a day.
  • I have a bunch of different blogs that I check daily
  • I want to me remembered for doing something great
  • For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted a white christmas
  • During the last 3 years, I might of had tiny crushes on two of my professors...
  • I usually don't do my work until the panic sets in...I work best under pressure I've found
  • Sometimes, I still miss my ex even though I know he's 40 kinds of wrong for me and I'm better off without him

Ok, so I'm tagging:
anybody who reads this!
the ladies of Chickbug

is giving Justin Timberlake a run for his money.

I can't figure out if it's real or not...

Kind of freaky if it is though. Does the man even have balls?
All of a sudden everyone around me is suddenly "in a relationship", leaving me to be one on my own. I don't know how I feel about this really. I'm not kidding when I say this either. EVERYONE in my family, almost all my friends, even all of my EXES are all involved in other relationships. Seriously though, what the hell? what do all of these people have that I don't have? And the worst part is, all my friends come to me to bitch and moan about their boyfriends. "He does this" or "He hasn't called me AT ALL TODAY!" boo freaking hoo.

On the one hand, I'm really happy that my friends and family are happy and have someone else in their lives. But on the other hand, this really sucks. I really hate that feeling of loneliness. One really is the lonliest number. I can't go anywhere without being surrounded by all the "coupley"ness. It makes me a little sad, actually. Christmas time is always the worst. The whole season is about being cute and with the people you love and that love you. Yet, I'm always alone on Christmas. ALWAYS. I want that with someone. That whole "Can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of thing". I want to know that there's someone who will be there on my bad days, and when I'm bitchy for no reason. Someone who will want to hear about my day, and be excited to see me. Someone I can really get comfortable with.

John Mayer says it best, I'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here. Please?
I am SO glad to be home right now. I was just missing the hell out of it, and I really couldn't wait to get back. I don't even know why. This break is only a little less than a week, but I feel like it's winter break. That reality will hit me next Tuesday.

Last night was a great first night back. First, my mom and I hooked up with my childhood bff Lindz and her mom for coffee at our favorite cafe. We sat there for about 2 and a half hours just laughing and having an over all great time. Then I had an hour and a half conversation with my best friend who was still up in Gainesville. I love talking to her. She just refreshes me, and is often the exact dose of amazingness that I need. So our conversation pretty much ended with "OK, just get in your car and drive home tonight!" "You know what? OK!" and two hours later she was at my front door. We were up until 5am just talking about everything and nothing. And it was so much fun. She said it was one of the most spontaneous things she's ever done! That got me thinking, what's the most spontaneous thing I've ever done? I can think of a few things, but I'll spare the gory details for now.

What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done??
this time tomorrow I'll be sitting at the gate ready and waiting to board and get my ass back to sunny florida! yesssss.

in other news, this morning I was at the house of The Most Hyper-Active Child in the World, watching said child's baby sister, K. The plumbers show up to do their thing and pretty much re-do the entire upstairs plumbing. Who doesn't love a handyman? really? I mean, I know I do....especially when they HAVE NO RESPECT FOR A SLEEPING BABY. I was on edge the entire time with my ear pressed against the monitor to make sure it was working, because she SLEPT through 3/4 of the banging, clanking, and out right stomping. I was really beginning to wonder if she was partially deaf, and then started going through all the times I'd played with her and wondered if she had responded when I called her. After I went upstairs to check on her and make sure she was still breathing, the guys finally decided to close the door to the bathroom to lessen the noise. 5 minutes later she woke up. Kids these days....

I think she's finally warming up to me though. Thank GOD. I don't think I could take another day of her screaming herself purple when she was left alone with me.
It's really sad that I had to google how to open a bottle of wine.

Now I see why they invented the boxed variety
Yesterday's high was 67.

Today, it's 47.

Go figure.
i can't seem to put my thoughts into coherent blog posts. During the day, I'll come up with various ideas and think, "wow, i'm going to post about that." but then i never do. Mainly because, when it comes down to sitting and writing, I just can't form anything to say. It's annoying to be honest. I feel blocked.

I'm going home for Thanksgiving in less than a week. I couldn't be more excited. This semester has just flown by. I'm already registered for classes next semester, and internships are coming up soon. It's becoming painfully obvious that I'm going to have to step into the big kid world sometime soon. Part of me is excited, it's like being in the middle of a really good book, and really wanting to know how it's all going to turn out. You know there's a resolution, but you have NO IDEA where it might be, or what's going to happen.

I'm looking forward to the Holidays. I love them. The day after Christmas is truly one the saddest ones for me. Not because I don't appreciate my gifts, I do, and I know I'm very lucky to get what I do, but I'm sad that it's all over. The whole season, is just over. The decorations disappear, the decorations get put back in storage, the music returns to pop, and the warm fuzzy feelings fade away. That's part of the reason why I treasure this time of the year so much. Because I know it will end quicker than I'm ready for it to.
8:45AM: I hear an extremely annoying sound in my ear - oh wait, it's my alarm.

8:49AM: Check my e-mails, facebook, myspace, blogs...the morning usual.

9:00AM: Roll out of bed to start some coffee.

9:17AM: Crawl back into bed for more interneting.

9:26AM: Maybe I should start to get ready for the day...

9:35AM: Rush out the door for my 9:55 class

9:55-11:10AM: Marketing class.

11:20AM-12:35PM: Japanese class.

12:36PM: shoot myself after Japanese class.

12:37PM: Recover from self-inflicted gunshot wound and catch down the shuttle to Tenleytown.

12:48PM: Arrive in Tenley and wait for bus in front of local CVS.

12:52PM: Hop on the 36 bus towards Friendship Heights.

12:54PM: Hop off the 36 bus towards Frienship Heights, in front of Quiznos.

1:03PM: Run out of Quzinos with my Steakhouse beef dip with extra sauce, and free Diet Pepsi.

1:04: Make a mad dash for Babysitting house numero uno.

1:08: Oopes, I'm eight minutes late....sorry.

1:45: Put The Cutest Kid in the World (TCKW) down for a nap...ah, quiet time.

2:00: Take my own nap after reading Wall Street Journal.

3:45: Check on sleeping toddler - she's still out.

4:30 - 5:15: ARTHUR and DW rule my world.

5:20: Mad dash for Babysitting house numero dos.

6:00: Try and comfort screaming seven-month old - to no avail. OMG she's turning PURPLE...she hates me.

6:10: Attempt to feed Most Hyper-Active Child in the World (MHACW). "But I don't LIKE mashed POTATOES!"

6:12: Listen to the neverending "MOMMY! MOMMY! I WANT MY MOMMY TO FEED ME!"

6:25: Successfully feed seven-month old. mm sweet potatoes and gross, peas.

6:56: Attempt to clean up fussy seven-month old. I watch in HORROR as she reverts back to the hysterical baby she was 56 minutes ago. All I wanted to do was clean her up and get her ready for bed!

7:15: Get MHACW ready for bed - for the most part. Still listening to ""MOMMY! MOMMY! I WANT MY MOMMY." I swear to God, this kid is programmed to say that.

7:45: I give up trying to do what his mom says. I watch as he jumps on the bed.

7:57: Finally, some relief. I get to walk the dog.

8:15: Load the dishwasher and clean up the mess...

8:45: Make a mad dash for Small group - which started 45 minutes ago...

9:07: Arrive at the conference room - just as they're wrapping up.

10:00: Walk home - ahh.
...unless you ALMOST witnessed the downfall of the Patriots, only to watch the Colts lose it in the last quarter. damnit. SO FREAKING CLOSE. So close in fact, that my roommate screamed "EFF YOU" (except he wasn't so censored) at me after I let out a "woot woot" when the Colts scored again. I promptly covered my ears and shouted back "lalala, I'm not listening! I'm not listening! I'M NOT LISTENING LALALALA." He was pissed because I'm not a Colts fan, but I am a fan of the Patriots losing, and any team that can do that will win my upmost respect. I'm tired of hearing his shouts of "YES! NICE!" or "HAHA NICE!" or his standing on the sofa screaming "TOUCHDOWN! YES! I EFFING LOVE YOU TOM BRADY" (again, his version was more colorful). It gets annoying. And after last week's disaster of a football game between the Redskins and Patriots, I was fed up. I'll continue rooting for whatever team is playing against the Patriots, I'm hoping that one day it'll be a huge upset and they'll be dethroned by some terrible team in a game that can only be compared to the Michigan/Appalachian State game. If they win the superbowl - God help us all. The Red Sox have already won the World Series, why do the Patriots need to win? WHY GOD WHY? I don't think i can handle his obnoxiousness for that long. At least the Patriots were humbled today with a meager 4 point win. Hopefully that'll scare dear old roomie enough to SHUT UP, but I'm not holding my breathe on that one.

Anyways...one of my favorite parts of football is when players of opposite teams pat each other on the back and joke with each other on the field. It brings it all back to the fact that it's just a game. Sure, it's their job to entertain America every Sunday for millions and millions of dollars, but really, at the end of the day, it's just a game. The world does not end if your team does or does not win. It may sting a bit at first, and you may not be pleasant to be around for a few days, but we all move on and get on with life.

A typical conversation between me and my roommate and his girlfriend:

me: "why does pennsylvania get two football teams AND two baseball teams...?"
a: "....what are you talking about?! the BOSTON red so.."
d: "no, she's right PENNSYLVANIA has two of each..."
a: "what two teams?"
d and me: "the PHILLIES and the PIRATES..."
a: "the pirates are in PITTSBURGH. not pennsylvania..."
d and me: ".......yeah. pittsuburgh is part of pennsylvania.....it's a city."
a: "wait, what? i always thought pittsburgh was somewhere out on the west coast..."
d and me: "oh dear god..."
today was one of those days. it was so wet and gross outside, all i wanted to do was curl up with a good book, cup of hot coco, and a big oversized chair. UNFORTUNATELY, i had to participate in life today.

I woke up bright and early to a toilet that was no longer working (for god only knows why not at this place). after spending about an hour in front of the porcelain bowl, i finally saw the damn thing flush. despite feeling extremely proud of myself, i immediately washed my hands. three times.

i've found that "fixing" things brings immense pleasure. the other night, i spent the final three hours, of a what had been a previously four month battle, with my sansa e280. The damn thing worked fine in Italy, then one day I updated my Windows Media Player and POOF, i can't put music on it anymore! anyways, after months and months of searching the internet for a solution i finally read somewhere to check the device manager, and if there's a little "exclamation point" by it, then to update the driver. i wearily decide to give it a try, but don't hold out much hope for it to work, because nothing else has, and i was only one more failed attempt away from throwing the thing against the wall and yelling at it. but alas, it decided that it wanted to live a little longer and started to work again. I felt like a fucking genius! the endorphins were just FLOWING through my body...i even sent my poor mother a text message proclaiming my glee. I spent the next two hours loading some 500 songs on it. the next morning, i get suuper excited because i know i can FINALLY listen to it on the walk to school, something i haven't been able to do since getting here in august. i get it all ready with the suede case and make sure it plays properly. and then i realize, i don't know where my headphones are. after frantically searching for 5 minutes, i give up, and walk to school in silence. silently crying on the inside.
a bunch of different, not so organized thoughts.

the metro
i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate the metro. especially the busses. i had to be somewhere by 6:30, so I hopped on the bus in front of my apt at 5:30 thinking, "no problem. i'll be there super early". hmph. the first bus down to dupont was fine. no biggie. but then i waited another HALF HOUR until the next one came to take me down to where i needed to be. HALF A FREAKING HOUR. do you know how incredibly pissed i was? by the time the bus FINALLY decided to show up, it was 6:18 and this is downtown dc, which means it takes 20 minutes just to get around a damn traffic circle. ughh. by the time i got to where i was supposed to be, it was 6:42. great. i was late. instead of going in late, i went to caribou coffee for a chai tea to calm down.

pure barre? no more like pure hell
i went to this thing today called pure barre. it's a 55 minute total body workout. it's something i've been interested in trying since the start of the semester. it was one of the most intense experiences of my life! we did a 15 minute warm up, and then moved to the barre. let me just say, i now remember why i HATED the barre in ballet. it was so difficult and straining i had to stop and sit down because i was afraid of passing out! that's never happened to me before. my face got super hot and it got really difficult to hear. it was weird. after we got past that particular section, things got a little better for me, but they were still super intense. my body is going to hate me in the morning, i can already feel it's anger. this is crazy. i can't wait to go back.

Dante's forgotten level
these past three weeks have really made me think. i've come to the conclusion that dante forgot to include a level in his list of the different hells - the midterm level. no joke, it's down towards the bottom of the pile. it's such a exhausting time of life. there's always something to do or study for. always a concept to define, or method to memorize. i hate it. i have my last midterm this friday. wooo...it's in japanese though...booooo.

i hate it. end of story. i can't even talk about it right now.

my mommy is coming into town this weeeeeekend! i'm so excited! she's so funny. today on the phone, she was going on and on about how she was looking up restaraunts on the washingtonian. she's got like ten picked out! i had to remind her she was only going to here for three nights, and to narrow her list down. So far, we've got: Ethiopian, Japanese, maybe French, Italian, maybe Spanish tapas, and a little cafe called Afterwords for dessert. I think she's trying to hit every continent. I'm excited to do some shopping this weekend too. DSW is having a huge boots sale (eeek!) that i can't wait to hit up. then i need to go to ikea to get some pendant lights to hang around the apt, and replace a lamp my roommate BROKE, and pick up some lightbulbs. I think she's also going to help me put up my stuff around the apt too. i think we might make a trip to either bed bath n beyond or linen's and things too. we have like 23 of those 20% off coupons. maybe pick up some fabric somewhere to hang around the place too. as curtains and for decoration and whatnot.

it's been a super long day, and i didn't get my nap in so i'm ready to crash...
i just got back in from a weekend at home. it was so great and relaxing, even though i was super busy.

my mom picked me up friday and we went to the mall to do some last minute shopping for the little brother's birthday. then we headed home for a bit and made our way out to the high school for opening night of said brother's play, Othello. home boy played Iago, and he rocked the house, but more on that later. i actually didn't watch the show that night, but went out to dinner and a movie with a friend. we own the night is definitely worth seeing!

saturday i ended up going out with one of my best girls to see Chevelle in concert at the House of Blues. We'd seen them together a few years ago, and actually ended up meeting up with the same group of people from before. we had a great time. drank lots. and spent little. my kind of party. we did end up getting a little lost on the way back, but oh well.

sunday was spent trying not to be hungover. i finally made it to the play. He did SO WELL despite having lost his voice. Iago is so deliciously evil that my brother was born to play him. His raspy voice just added to the character, even though it was a little hard to understand him. afterwards, we went out to a family dinner to celebrate his birthday at olive garden. mm.

i didn't get much sleep last night, and i ended up being reaaaaaally late for my flight. so late, they wouldn't let me check my bag. ughh...i haate the airport officials. they are such uneccessary assholes. anyways, i made it to Hotlanta to hang with aris. went to this fun lil playce called The Flying Biscuit. ah-ma-zing. i had a smoked salmon omlette with dill cream cheese. so good. so good. soo good. we chilled for a little longer, then he freaked out because his car overheated, then we went back to the airport, and i flew back to dc!

whew...that's my weekend in a nutshell. lots of fun. lots of memories. no pictures. :( i need to get my camera fixed. that's my next mission.
I got this idea from another blog i read....here's what i would say in a letter addressed to a much younger me:

Dear Amanda,

You're young and curious, but strong and determined. Life will throw you many obstacles, but you'll always fight your way through them. It's ok to cry every now and then. By the time you're 6 you'll have two younger brothers that will be both a blessing and a curse. They will push you beyond your limits. When you're 8 and a half, you'll move to Japan to be a "family". Appreciate the time you are blessed to spend in Japan and the people you spend it with, those days will be something you'll miss. When you come back, insist that Mom put you back in dance, or else you'll really regret it later on. Dad will never be the person you want him to be. As painful and hard as it is, try to let go of that early on, you only hurt yourself in the end. Be nicer to your brothers, it's not your job to try and step into the shoes of a missing parent. They need a big sister, not another mom (when you're sitting in that rental car agency in New York, don't tell them that you're superior to them. It will haunt you for life). Family takes on a whole new meaning. Those three people will always be there for you, just like you'll always be there for them. Learn from them at every opportunity. When Mom says, you'll miss being a kid, believe her, and enjoy every moment of that sweet innocence of childhood.

Lots of people will come into your life, and then go. Treasure those who are willing to stay with you, they are the real keepers. Your first kiss will be firework worthy (even if it's in the back of your mom's car while she drives your first boyfriend home). Sweet and innocent and new, it'll be the beginning of a whole new chapter of your life. You'll learn to treasure all your first kisses. They're all so different from each other, yet they're all so special to you. High school will be a tough. You'll go through four incredibly long and hard years, but you'll form some of the best friendships and relationships. IB will beat the crap out of you, but Dazzlers will keep you going. You'll survive to the end (maybe pick something other than psychology for you EE though...). Don't be discouraged when you don't get what you want the first time. Take time, and improve, it'll make the reward that much sweeter. High school love will come and go. When he breaks up with you, it's ok to cry, but know you're better off. Dance with all your heart and work hard for that quad that you'll get towards the end of your senior year. Go ahead and apply to Mom's alma mater, Miami University, who's it going to hurt? Don't be afraid to take some chances here and there, they give you important lessons that you'll need later on.

College will take you all the way up to Washington D.C. You'll be scared, excited, and ready all at the same time. Be sure to make as many friends as possible. There's no such thing as having too many. Someone will come into your life in the most unexpected way, be careful and cautious of your heart. It'll be the best 10 months of your life to that point. Watch what you say, and say your sorry more often. Remember, it's never about winning or being right, it's about being understood. By 2007, you'll experience something new - true heartbreak. It'll take a long time to get past the pain, there's no advil or tylenol you can take, you just have to ride it out. New people will come into your life just when you need them to. (Nobody really liked that guy anyways, he didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. The next guy will be 10x the man that he was). The summer after, you'll escape to Italy for 6 weeks. You'll sail the Mediterranean, visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa, witness the awe that is the Pantheon, survive a natural disaster, and eat at the birthplace of Fettucini Alfredo. It'll be something that changes your life. Try not to spend so much money there though, Mom won't like that.

Learn from the past, but move on to the future. People are flawed, and that's what makes them so beautiful. Don't take anything for granted, especially not those around you. Take in every moment, and never forget them, the good nor the bad. You'll find your Knight in Shinning Armor one day, and you'll know that God hand-picked him for you. Take life one day at a time, and take lots of pictures along the way.

You'll be just fine.

Ready? Set? Too bad, GO!

here's your opportunity, what would you say to a younger version of you?
do you ever feel like you made a mistake? sometimes, i wonder what life would be like if i'd applied/gone to Miami of Ohio. don't get me wrong, i love my life at AU and i definitely don't regret my decision to come here. but, sometimes, i just wonder "what if". the campus is gorgeous, and they have a great business program, and even a minor in japanese. so, why didn't i apply? i think a main part was my rebellion against my mother. it's her alma mater, and naturally, why would i want to go where she went? i wanted to be my own person. i wanted to make my own footprints, not follow hers. plus, dc was so alluring. not only was it in the city, whereas miami is definitely a collegetown, but there is so much opportunity here. (granted, miami does have a football team, and i'm sure that the choice of "dateable" men is much larger than here, things i should have thought about...)

i don't regret my decision, but sometimes i do question it. i wonder how things would be for me right now. what would i be doing, who would i know? ahh...oh well. who knows, there's always grad school...
got my finance test back! yeah for an 87.5!!! i'm really excited about that!! yayyyyy! :)
it's been a good weekend
i wish it didn't have to end
i don't want it to be monday
is it friday yet?
what a freaking day. wow, what a freaking day. most of my day was spent running from one place to the next. i can't really tell what time it started, because i'm not really sure where last night ended and today started. i wish the story was half as exciting as it sounds...

i do remember working on my wireless router til almost 2 am, and then i do remember finally getting too frustrated to work on it anymore. then i went to study for my finance exam, i was sitting on the bed with the book open, and then i woke up at like 5am. ughh.

i had my mom call me at 8 to wake me up and i studied some more. and more. and more. by the time i left at 11:10, for my 11:20 class, i'd already had 2 cups of coffee, studied for my exam, and somehow managed to get the wireless working, and managed to look somewhat decent for the internship fair. the exam went alright, i guess. from my exam i ran to the library to print off my resume, then to drop my bag off at my japanese teacher's office because i didn't want to take it to the fair. the fair was, interesting. i met some interesting people, handed out my resume, shook a lot of hands, and got some good info. i reaaally want and need an internship! i'm hoping that it'll settle me in a particular direction for my life. there are some pretty cool ones out there. we'll see.

the job fair was from 1-4, but i could only stay till 2 because i had a a silly class on the other side of the world. so i ran back to the office, grabbed my bag (and changed my shoes, love them, but so uncomfortable) and ran to class. even after class, i had to go BACK to the japanese office and take a quiz. which didn't go as well as i thought it would. knew everything except ONE character! and i have to get 100% to move on to the next level, i know that sounds really confusing, but it's her weird "kanji dojo" system.

i finally got to go back to the apartment around 4:15...where i promptly collapsed on the couch, exhausted from my day, and crashing from my caffine rush from the morning. my internet is being super slow, and isn't secured. my dad never sent my mom something she needed for my brother's page for the yearbook. he promised it by wednesday, but now he's mysteriously unavailable. not picking up his cell and not in the office. his unreliability makes me so angry.

myspace changed it's layout, i'm not sure if i like it or not. it's weird. grey's anatomy premiered tonight! that was fun. i have no money, that's no fun. bills are due soon, that's even less fun. ughhh...i reaaally hope that one day, all this will pay off. i'll have an awesome job and make lots of money, and not have to worry about oweing anyone any money. i just hope that day is in a few years rather than way down the road.

it's been a rough week. i need a drink.

it's been a rough day. i need a drink.
I feel the need to scream. just go to an open field where there's no one else around for miles and scream. unfortunately for me, dc doesn't have many of those. so instead, i'll try it here.


i still feel like i need the real thing.
i knew it was a bad idea to drink that cup of coffee at 10:30...but i just couldn't help it. i had made it, i couldn't let it go to waste...

so now i'm wide awake. at 3:05 am. with a 9:55 in the morning. lovely. things that have been on my mind lately:

not much. ok, that's a lie, but really it's just been the same stuff i've blogged about in the past few entries. needing to be needed...blah blah blah. i've been missing everything home this past week. my friends, family, house, car, everything. i read over my facebook wall-to-wall with lindz today, and it's so amusing, the things we say to each other at random times. ah, i love that girl. i think one reason this summer was great was because we got so close again. we've always been close, but it was just refreshed. (yes? no? maybe?).

i'm super excited that this is Premiere Week on ABC! wooooo for Grey's, Private Practice, and Brothers & Sisters!! B&S is going to present problems for me and my dear roommate though. It plays on Sunday nights, but what else plays on sundays?? a little thing called Sunday Night Football. Yes, it's that important it gets proper caps - no joke. If the Patriots are playing, i don't even think it's worth trying to fight. Homeboy looooves his Patriots, nothing comes in his way of watching them. Granted, Brotheres & Sisters is available on ABC.com the next day, but i should get to watch it on tv every now and then, right??

tonight, i wrote out my contribution to my brother's senior page. surprise surprise, i actually like the kid after all ;) i actually had a lot to say, and i hope i don't have to cut it down (i always hate having to do that...). he's accomplished so much, and is dangerously smart. we're siblings, so there have definitely been times when i wanted nothing to do with him, but secretly, i am super proud of him. I think he dealt well as well as he could with being the middle child. just like he'll never know what it's like to be the oldest (not always what it's cracked up to be...), i'm sure that being the middle is not an easy job. i think we'll all agree that the baby has it best. he always will. maybe it's because my mom was the baby, or he's just the golden child. My uncle recently saw a picture of the three of us when LB (littlest Bro) was just a babe. his comment? "Look, it's A, B, and Bart Simpson" - for some reason he's always thought LB looked like bart simpson. i don't see it, but it makes me smile.

i was leafing through my senior yearbook fishing for inspiration on what to write, and i'll admit, some things definitely made me a little teary. it's SO hard for me to fathom the fact that in a few months my brother will be graduating high school!! it's even harder for me to process the fact that i've been in college for 3 years now! how can that be? I just started! Just last week I was a freshman! and two weeks before that, I was struggling to finish up my senior year of high school and IB! how can it be that my brother is now picking out senior pictures and writing college entrance essays?!? i'm turning 21 in a little more than 6 months! where did it all go?

People are getting married, having babies, their lives are falling into place. am i supposed to have these things figured out soon?? i've always thought that i wanted to have my first kid by the time i was 27, but i wanted to have been married for at least 3 years before that. which puts me at getting married at 24, at the latest!! yikes! that's not far away when i think about everything in perspective! i'm too young to be worring about all this internal clock stuff! too young i say!
i hate the giants...they ruined my sunday. :(
i'm struggling between missing someone but not missing someone, wanting something new, and wanting what i had. i don't even know who i'm talking about half the time.

life sucks.

i've been in a funky mood lately, and i'm not too sure why. This semester has been alright so far, nothing SUPER exciting, but nothing really rotten either. I have a nice apartment, the master bedroom, and a nice bed. I'm extremely thankful for everything that i have, but still, i feel like something's missing. maybe it's just that sense of belonging to someone that i miss so much. my roommate's girlfriend is over every night and sometimes it just gets a little hard to sit on the couch with them and watch tv when they're all snuggly and holding hands and lying on each other's chests. i'm not even sure that i miss having that with a particular someone, i think it's just the feeling that i miss. it's taken me a lot of time to get to this point where i'm at now, regarding that person. i don't know if i'll ever be fully over him or what happened, but i've learned that moving on is essential to living life, and it's better for me and my heart if he just stays gone.

i feel like everyone around me is finding someone, and here i am still alone. it is disheartening at times. i hate feeling alone. and it's not that i'm not happy for those who aren't, but it just makes me realize what i don't have. what i really want. patience is a virtue that i've always struggled with. especially when i got a taste of something that i really liked this summer.

i'll admit, sometimes, i'm afraid that i'll be alone forever. what if i'm that person who doesn't ever find that one sweet love? did i have it and let it go? what's that saying? always a bridesmaid, never a bride? is that really a possibility for me? what would i do if it was? is it a legitamate fear?

i'm ready and waiting to not feel like this anymore.
the other day my mom called me up and told me that a good family friend of ours was driving up to DC this week and was willing to take me a box of stuff, so what would i want her to bring me?? I came up with a few things and told my mom. Today, i talked to her and asked her if she had gotten my stuff together to give to the friend driving up (she's leaving early thursday morning), and she pretty much failed at getting anything together. That kind of pissed me off. like, why even bother to ask me, get me thinking about what i need from home, and then not put the stuff together to send to me?

she said she had my brother looking for something i'd asked for; which, if you know my brother, means he'll never find it, homeboy would lose his head if it wasn't attached.

anyways, i'm just a little annoyed. she had time to go to the movies and talk on the phone all night long, but can't remember to get stuff together for me. something she said she'd do in the first place.

right before I graduated in May of 2005, my friend lindz decided to make a "101 things to do in 1001 days", and after seeing how hers turned out, I decided to draft my own set of things i wanted to achieve. I sat down one afternoon and made my list. Some things were silly like "get a prom date" and whatnot, but others were things that i really wanted to accomplish in my lifetime. Well, this past summer while in rome, i rediscovered this file saved to my computer over two years ago. I had completely forgotten about it until then! I opened it up and was fascinated by how many of those things I had managed to accomplish. i did update a few of the silly things here and there, but for the most they are all still true. I posted it on the side of my blog, so go and check it out. :)
i've finally found a little bit of downtime, so i'm chilling in the student union not really up to anything.

i don't really want to go back to the apartment for a few reasons. It's hot outside, but freezing in the apt, we have no cable, i have no comfortable bed (yet), and there's no internet either (when i do get it, it's like being on dial-up). So, instead i've decided to hang here for a few minutes.

sitting a few people down from me are two girls and this one guy who are all arguing about...student senate stuff? i think? i can't really tell, but man, this guy is on such a freaking powertrip. He's being a complete tool bag, and not very nice at all. This leads me to think, do unattractive people in powerful positions become too serious because they aren't used to the attention and position? seriously, this guy, he's kinda chubby, glasses, pale, and probably really smart, but he's just being a complete ass about EVERYTHING and is talking a bunch of shit about other people involved in student government!

in other news around the student union...well, that's pretty much it. I've been pretty busy with life since school started. as i said earlier, still no bed. at least i get that on sunday. i don't think i could be more excited. i'm grateful to my uncle for letting me borrow it, but i am so ready to get the hell off of it. my friend is going to help me decorate the room, so i'm really looking forward to that. Classes...well they're classes. but the other day i actually found myself enjoying (gasp!) my marketing class, and even today, i enjoyed my business finance class. That's how I know i'm in the right field...i'm learning how to invest my money and make huge amounts of money in return, and i'm loving every minute of it!

things with my dad aren't really better or worse. they're just there. i feel that he is suddenly trying to be my mentor and parent, but he doesn't know me at all. I feel that if he did, then he wouldn't say the things that he does. he would think differently about me, and what my plans for my life are. He can't step back in after a 10 year absence and expect me to take it very nicely. he always promises that he's going to be better at that whole "dad" role, but i'll believe that one when it actually happens. until then, i'll just see him as the ass that he is.
my dad is an asshole.

end of story.
i don't really know where to start. this summer was everything that i expected it to be. and everything i didn't. after coming off a semester from hell, i was more than ready to get away. i needed to get home and away from everything there; school, dc, him, i just needed to get as far away as possible. i don't think it was running away per se, seeing as i had to come home eventually.

the summer was all about healing, in every way. italy was, beyond amazing. it was so good for me to go. i not only made great memories, but friends too. here are some of the things that i did this summer:

I...toured italy and spain
...met dozens of new people
...had a fun summer "fling"
...realized it's ok to start to open my heart to someone again
...REALLY got into yoga
...gained a new outlook
...fell in love with my best friends all over again!
...accomplished a lot.

This summer has been so great. A recent survey i filled out asked me if this summer was better than the last. The first time i saw that question, i didn't know how to answer. Both were so different for me for so many different reasons. However, in the end, I think i can soundly say that this summer was better than last. I've learned a lot since this time last year, and i definitely feel that i've grown up a lot.

I am so excited for what this semester is going to bring! i have a good feeling and lots of energy. I've been doing a lot of researching for yoga studios and I have two finalists I'm going to check out in the next few weeks. I'm really going to try and continue this whole "bettering myself" thing.

so far, things are looking really good! but then again...the year has just begun!
Pull back the shield between us and I'll kiss you
Drop your defenses and come into my arms
I'm all for believing (I'm all for believing)
I'm all for believing if you can reveal the true colors within

I know you blanket your mind
So much that I am blind
But I see you painted your soul into your guard
I'm all for believing (I'm all for believing)

I need to know just how you feel to comfort you
I need to find the key to let me in
Into your heart to find your soul

Pull back the shield between us and I'll kiss you
Drop your defenses and come into my arms
I'm all for believing if you can reveal the true colours within
Say you will be there for me to hold when faith grows old
And life turns cold

I'm all for believing (faith grows old)
I'm all for believing (life turns cold)
Just believeI'm all for believing (faith grows old)
I'm all for believing (life turns cold)
Just believeI'm all for believing (faith grows old)
And life turns cold
well, it's more like the movies of the 90s....

in the past two days, i've watched:
The Princess Diaries (which is really from the early 2000s, but whatever)
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (which is really from the late 80s, but i first saw it in the 90s)
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

I remember the first time i saw jumanji. it was during one of my visits from japan. we rented it (on tape!) from blockbuster. i just remember being mesmerized by it, and then being so disappointed the the real game wasn't quite the same.

home alone 1 and 2 are always some of my favorite holiday movies. they just put me in such a happy mood. what a smart little kid that kevin was. i especially like the second one, when they wake up to all the presents in the gorgeous hotel penthouse. i was actually just thinking of this movie yesterday when i was watching the wonder years, Daniel Stern narrates the show and plays Marv the stupid robber in Home Alone. does that ever happen to you? you're thinking about something or someone and then you see it a few days later...it happens to me a lot actually. I was just listening to some christmas music too...i can't wait for christmas, it's the most wonderful time of the year after all.

and then there's honey, i shrunk the kids. a classic for any person who can remember the 90s. i always loved mgm studios because they had the gigantic set that made you feel like you were in the movie.

Andre is playing next, but i think i'll opt for So You Think You Can Dance instead...Andre always makes me cry anyways...
since i've been home i've just been enjoying the things i missed while in europe.

  • air conditioning
  • driving
  • so you think you can dance
  • air conditioning
  • mcdonalds (roman style just isn't as good)
  • the radio
  • air conditioning
  • entourage
  • my bed
  • air conditioning

last week, i picked up Jill and we drove down to Miami for the week. that was a lot of fun. we got to meet alicia and beba's families and they all took us in with loving and welcome arms and made us feel right at home. we also got to hang out with my cousin for a night at one of his clubs called Mansion. He got us in to the VIP room and set us up at his table. it was fabulous. it was also Michelle Rodriguez's birthday party, so we got to see her too. the beach was gorgeous, and the water was amazing. i could just sit in the water all day long. all in all the week was tons of fun and i'm so glad we got to go!

i'm off to the gym soon with mom, i've finally convinced her to do spinning, hopefully she won't kill me afterwards....


ok, so the photobucket thing didn't really work out too well. it took too long to upload pictures, and i was taking too many. so instead i'm going to give you the albums from facebook! click on the links.



So my fabulous six week European trip has finally come to an end. To be honest, I’m happy to be going home. I’ve been gone a long time, but unlike when I’m at school, I’ve been living in a foreign country, where I didn’t really speak the language to begin with. I’m probably going to be paying my mom back for a century for this trip, but it was well worth it and I would do it all over again in a heart beat! It was a once in a lifetime chance, and I’m so glad I took it. Sure, I may get to come back to Europe and Italy and Spain, but not like this.
My trip definitely had it’s fair share of stressful moments, starting from day one at MCO dealing with JetBlue and their tardiness, which almost caused me to miss my flight to Rome. Then there was the Heineken not so Jammin’ Festival, complete with hail and whirlwinds. Then there was the whole drunkenly scaling the gate thing and falling off and busting my knee (which still hurts btw). Oh, let’s not forget when I went to the wrong airport the other day to go to Granada, fyi, there are two airports in Barcelona, don’t mix them up. And then today I decided since I had time to kill I’d walk around and look at the stores. I hopped on a monorail to the other gates. When I tried to come back, the monorail doors wouldn’t open. And I was stuck inside!! I was really worried for about 5 minutes there. Then I had to go through security again…grr... But for every stressful moment, there have been at least 50 hilarious, outrageous, and amazing memories. I am so lucky to have gotten the chance to come here! In six weeks I lived in Rome, sailed the Mediterranean, saw the leaning tower of Pisa, did a Pub Crawl, saw Venice, survived a mini natural disaster, went to SPAIN! Partied on a beach til the break of dawn in Barcelona, relaxed in Granada, spent a night in Madrid and made tons of new friends!! Now that I think about it, I’m exhausted!

SOOOOOOOOO today i bid farewell to my quaint (yet scorchingly hot) apartment, roommates, and amazing rome, and hopped on a plane with my friend samantha to BARCELONA, which is where i am writing this now in my beautiful hotel room with wifi(!!) but more importantly, air conditioning (!!!). i loved my apartment and all, but it was ridiculously hot and i could barely function in it. our hotel room is farely small, and only one bed, but we don't mind sharing. it's got a nice little flat screen tv on the wall, and works for us. it took us a trip downstairs to see how to get the electricity working, apparently we have to put our key into this little box and leave it there, spiffy little trick they have....

There was a little bit of trouble getting here though. i booked a SUUUPER cheap flight (5 euros, but then fees and taxes made it 45 euros) but didn't see the fine print where it said you could only have 15 kgs of checked baggage. total. mine were abouttt...20 kilos over, and i had to pay 8 euros per kilo...that came to about ohhh 160 euros. that really upset me, and i started to cry . i was doing so well with the cheap flight and hotel (it's only $50 per person a night for 3 nights, not too shabby) and then had to pay for extra baggage weight, i might as well have sent most of it home for 200 euros. i'm going to look into it for the flight back to Rome to make sure i don't have that problem again.

Sam bought a Spain book and we've been reading all about it. apparently tonight is some huge festival for barcelona, and it's one big party all night long, complete with fireworks! :) we got really lucky with that. also, we saw a guy ryan from our program at JCU at the airport, so we're gonna hang out with him and maybe some other people he said were coming. after 3 nights here, sam and i are going to go to madrid for 3 nights and then i fly back to rome to catch a flight to jfk to catch a flight to orlando. that's going to be a super long day for me! but for now, i'm having a great time!!!
If i had to desrcribe this weekend in one word, i think it would have to be crazy.

this weekend started with a 4am wake up call to catch a 6:30 am flight to venice for the highly anticipated heineken jammin' festival. there was a pretty big group of us and we were all pumped! (although there was some mourning for some, because they lost all their liquids at security) So we arrive in venice and make our way to our hostel. This is where the first bit of drama errupted. There were two different rooms, one had air-conditioning and a private bathroom and shower, while the other did not. I was fortunate (read: smart enough) to book the one that clearly said "3-bed private bathroom ensuite". the other group was not so lucky. they were pretty pissed and were not about to let us have the better room. we tried saying it would be fine, they would only use it sleeping anyways seeing as we were going to be out all day at the concert, and they could use our shower. but whatever.

it was still pretty early in the morning and the mainstage bands didn't go on til night time, so we decided to go into venice and tour a bit. two of the girls in the other hostel room were still upset about that whole situation and were pissy the whole time. we went to the murano glass island which was TONS of fun and full of pretty things. then we decided to head to the concert grounds, where we figured we'd get a head start on the drinking.

we ended up buying these little green half tent thingies because we didn't want to sit on the grass, they turned out to be the best investment of our lives. The clouds started rolling in not long after that, and even though we knew it was going to be kind of rainy that day, we were in no way prepared for what was going to happen. My Chemical Romance is setting up to play, The Killers' music video is on the big screens and blasting through the park, and we're all just chilling and having a great time with the other 150,000 people. It starts to rain a little, and we're thinking, "ok, no big deal, cools things down anyways". then it turns into more or a pouring kind of rain, this is when my friend maria and i decide to pull the top part of the tent down further to keep the rain from hitting us. then it's a torrential downpour, and we pull the top all the way down to the ground, and we're holding it down. we're still joking around and having a good time and enjoying the beer. the winds started picking up and all of a sudden it wasn't so funny anymore, and turned into more of a scared shitless feeling. it felt like someone was standing in front of our tent throwing buckets of ice at us, and it hurt because we're trying to hold this thing down, and ice is being pelted on our arms through the tent. wind was intense, the hail was the size of ping pong balls, and people were screaming all around us. we were really scared. my poor friend alicia was all by her self in another tent right next to us, and kept calling to us to make sure we were still there.

the whole thing lasted about 15 minutes, and when we finally emerged it was major chaos. the big towers holding the speakers, and big screens up had all collapsed, taking people with them and crushing others. ambulances were howling all around us and over 150,000 people were trying to make sense of what had just happened. it was all so surreal, and most of us were in shock. we were all pushed out of the park and the concert was cancelled for the day. but the bridge was shutdown, and nothing was running, so we joined this huge mob of people walking towards our hostel. we walked 7km to our hostel. seven. it took us about 3.5-4 hours to do. it was crazy. we were so exhausted when we got back, we showered, ate dinner at the restaraunt and went to bed. and that was just day 1.
this trip has made me realize just how much i hate being dependent on other people. money has just been going through my fingers like water, and i feel terrible because it's my mom's money. it's made me realize just how badly i need to have a steady income, preferably a large one. i don't like spending money with no source to fill up my bank account. i think this will be a good inspiration for me to get out there and work hard and get a job that can maintain my lifestyle....thoughts?
don't let the newspapers fool you...as much as they might be saying that no one wants Bush to be visiting europe, they sure are doing a lot of prep for it. all the streets here are being shutdown and cleaned, parked cars are being towed left and right. buildings are being washed and painted, police are everywhere and americans have been warned. we got e-mails saying to carry all immigration documents at all times and be ready to present them to any officer that might ask for them. it's going to be a fairly big to-do here this weekend. kind of excited about it, kind of not. He's visiting a church innn the Piazza di Santa Maria in Trastevere, which is like maybe 5 minutes from my school. i'm pretty sure it's going to be really crazy here. there have already been anti-war protests and rallies...and i've heard there will be many more. as much as i love being an american, maybe this weekend isn't the safest time to be one?? maybe i should look into being canadian, which reminds me, i do still have japanese citizenship....;)

i'll be on the lookout this weekend, maybe even lucky enough to snap a few photos of gee dubs.
and in case i don't see you later, good afternoon, good evening, and good night! - The Truman Show

Hello all! i had an absolutely craaazy weekend!! it started thursday night and lasted pretty much all the way til last night. All of my roommates were out of town, so i decided to spend the wekend at my friends' place. we went out thursday night and didn't get in til late, and then after two hours of sleep we were up and ready to be at the train station by 6:15am....yeah, that was rough. but we a good day! we went to Pisa and saw the leaning tower which was really cool. we were excited once we saw the train because the inside was very harry potter style, meaning we had our own little compartment. haha. we're such dorks.
anyways, as soon as we got off the four hour train ride, it started raining, which then turned into a torrential downpour, which we stood in for 20 minutes waiting for a bus. we had three umbrellas for the 5 of us, but we were still pretty wet. and naturally, as SOON as we stepped on the bus, it stopped raining and mr.sunshine decided to make a grand appearance. hmph. we saw the tower, took lots of funny pictures, and then grabbed lunch. my friend Beba was our little guide. we told her we were cold and hungry, she said "too bad! we walk now. lunch is at 1!" lol...
we walked around more after lunch and then eventually headed back to the station, getting just a little lost in the process. the train ride home was longer but cheaper. so that was good. we were all pretty exhausted and didn't do much that night.
the next day we were all over rome. i saw my brother at the vatican, got gelato at Old Bridge (supposed to be the best gelato in rome, it was pretty good, and pretty cheap too). then we just kind of wandered and ended up on top of the castel di san angelo. which was...breathtaking. you could see all of rome from that spot.

That night we did a pub crawl...the first hour is all you can drink beer and wine, so we decided to make the most of it and make it last all night. that we did. we were out dancing til 3am! it was a lot of fun, but eventually the club started playing this horrible 80s techno mix thing that was not good at all. also, my feet were killling me from all the walking around in my cute (but definitely not made for walking) shoes. and i was tired. so all that combined at 3am, made it not so fun anymore and i was ready to go. the next day, we slept til 12. haha. it was a crazy weekend. we were tired...so shoot us. we were supposed to do a bike tour around rome on sunday. when we finally woke up it was raining and we were way too tired (not to mention a bit hungover...)to even think about biking. oh, but the craziness continues. we decided to go get breakfast (there was a big argument about whether to go shopping, or just across the street to a little pizza place, the shopping team won) and all of us walked out the door and then realized NO ONE HAD A KEY! in italy, you have to go through a series of doors before you can actually reach your own. usually, a key to the building and a key to a gate as well. you'd think that once we realized we had no key we wouldn't proceed to walk out of the building therefore leaving us no way to even get back in! lol we're kinda special. so some of us went to call JCU emergency number and the others stayed. lol...we finally get the key, and make our way down to the grocery...only to find it's closed. we ended up at the little pizza place across the street. the original plan. oops.
crazy crazy crazy. but i love my friends. they rock my world. :)

i've had two bad days since i've been here. both have been on thursdays...what's up with that? apparently i overdrew my account the other day and the bank is charging me a $64 fee...those sneaky bastards, not telling me i'm out but letting me take money out anyways....

money is slipping through my hands like water here. i don't get it. i had close to $700 in my account when i got here and now i'm overdrawn?! whaaaaaat?!? part of the problem is the exchange rate...it's like $1.46 to 1 euro. that blows. my money goes nowhere here. i need it to be reversed. then i'd be much happier. one thing my dad told me was that i was "in italy" and i should go out and do stuff around italy. well hellloooo no money = no going out and doing stuff in italy. the man is so dumb sometimes. i'm not going to just sit in the apartment all day, that would be a severe waste of money. i'm already not going on a trip to greece with all my friends because it's too expensive, AND i backed out of an island trip this weekend because i really can't afford it. i haven't bought anything expensive or designer. it doesn't help that my roommate is loaded and told her dad that she just didn't think that him putting $1000 in her account "just wasn't enough".

i'm tired. i have a headache. i'm broke. and now all those things put together make me very irratable.

After a late night of partying last night, my roommate and i decided to catch a cab to school. It's a pretty long walk, and only like 2.5 euros each if we split a cab. So we're standing out by our corner for about 30 minutes, flailing our arms at every taxi we see. none of them stopped for us! not even the empty ones! apparently today is Italy's national taxi strike day! seriously?!?! wtf?! by now it was too late to walk and still be on time, so we ended up being 10 minutes late. on top of that, we did A TON of walking in class today. almost to the spanish steps, which is a hefty hike, and then of course we had to walk back. i'm still highly annoyed by this stupid taxi strike. apparently it's to get the government to issue more cab liscenses.

gah! how rude!

this weekend i went on a sailing trip on the mediterranean! i have LOTS of new pictures up at my various places, so please go check them out!

as a kid i was petrified of boats! so scared that i used to make my family walk around the epcot world showcase instead of taking the ferry from one side to the other. and i refused to go on any rides that involved boats. so no mexico or norway for me. it's a small world was a push for me. but i got roped into this sailing trip with the rest of my friends this weekend. and to say this trip was amazing would be an understatement! the water was beautiful! not like new smyrna or daytona, but crystal clear, see the rocks at the bottom, kind of blue. there was a little bit of drama the first night on deciding who was on what boat. there were two groups of five and a group of six, and only eight people per boat. so someone was going to have to split up. you'd think the easiset would be for the group of six to become two groups of three, but no, they got real bitchy about that. another suggestion was the last group who signed up should split up, which was a good idea, but then again, if that group hadn't split up, then there wouldn't have been a second boat, so half of the other group wouldn't have been able to go. it was a big mess, and everyone had legitimate reasons for not wanting to split up. in the end one of the groups of five split up. I really liked all the people on our boat, and everyone got along really well, and there was no more drama after that :). the boat was really nice, but verry cramped for nine people (including the captain). the toilet had no flush, but instead a pump, and the paper was put in a waste bucket under the sink...yeah, imagine my horror upon learning THAT pretty fact...i'm sure you can imagine the look on my face.....
the second day was the best. we sailed all night and woke up surrounded by cliffs and a beach. we were at Palmarola, part of the Pontine Islands. it was a little gray that morning, but cleared up by the afternoon and it was a bright blue sky with lots of sun! this is a shot of us jumping into the medaterranean sea! the water was a bit cold at first, but after a few minutes you got used to it. we hit a couple of different islands, and eventually came to Ponza, an island with a village built right into the side of a mountain. it looked more like it was from Greece, than Italy. We docked here for the night, so the captains could sleep, and we could walk around on solid land. We got to explore and shop a little bit. We hit a few bars and got some drinks, and just enjoyed the scenery. we were going to wake up early to catch the sunrise, but yeah, that definitely didn't happen. instead we woke up around 10 and had already set sail again. it was a long nine hour sail back to Ostia, the port we left from, so we had to get an early start. while sailing back we saw a huge five mast sail boat way far in the distance. it was so far, it was very faint and looked like it was in mist. It really looked like it was straight out of the 18th century...who knows, maybe it was, and we caught a ghost ship forever at sea...you never know. ;) The weather forecast was also not good and the choppy waves created a lot of rocking, which led to problems for some of the people later on in the day.

By Sunday evening, everyone was ready to get off and back to solid land, even those of us who weren't seasick. our first stop after our weekend at sea? Mcdonalds! nothing tasted as good as those fries that day...It was definitely a weekend to remember and i'm so glad i decided to go!

Today has just been one of those days when NOTHING goes right and EVERYTHING annoys you. I don't even know where to start. my dad's being a huge jerk (but really, what else is new?). it's a huge long story that never really ends and always comes up again and again. i really need a therapist to vent to (see that mom?). i'm not going to go into it here because i don't want to come off as the huge whiney bitch, but just know, he's a jerk.

we went to a restaurant today and the waiter/owner was soooo rude! first he was upset that our italian was so poor, but we were trying our best. then he got upset when my friends didn't like what they ordered. sorry mister, they just don't like it. he was screaming in our faces and pointing and we were just staring back in shock. THEN they charged us 12 euros for bread, which we never got. i understand they have a basic service charge, but at least give us the bread then!!!

we agreed to go on this sailing trip this weekend, but then today most of my friends backed out, and when they called to cancel the lady totally bitched them out because she already reserved the boat. which, let's be honest, is understandable. but it's 250 euros, and that's a lot of money i'd rather spend on something else. i really wish my friends had decided not to go BEFORE we all agreed to go. annoyyyinggg! ugh. i like all the people i'm friends with here, but a few of them definitely got hit by the dumb fairy and are really stupid and i can't be around them for very long. super sweet people, but a couple sandwhiches short of a picnic basket.

it's been a long day and it's probably going to be a long night. ughhh.

bad days SUCK.

I updated a few previous posts with a few pics, and i also uploaded some onto my photobucket so go and look at them!!! They're also on facebook too for all you facebookers out there. comments are always loved!! Grazie!
quick update to say that i found wifi! the only downfall is that it's on my porch in a tiiiiny little corner, and i'm sitting in the most awkward position, too afraid to move in fear that i might lose the little signal that i have! my laptop is now seaaring hot and the keys are burning, but hey i found wifi! wooooo....it sometimes works in the kitchen for my roomies, but only hear for me. which is fine at night, but at 1pm...it kind of sucks.

ok! so sorry for the lack of updates recently...i don't have internet in my apartment so i can't post my pictures from my computer, and i really wanted to post some with my entries! tomorrow i'm planning on going to the school and using the free wifi. there are a couple of cafes near school with free wifi too! as soon as i get some, i'll upload everything i have.

but ahh where to start?? my apartment is ok...it's two bedroom one bath, for 4 girls. so it's a tad crammed at times. we have a full kitchen, but no living room. we thought it was really nice, then we saw another one and theirs is soo much nicer, but whatevs. i didn't come all the way to italy to sit in my apartment anyways. oh by the way, i live right next to Vatican City. you can't see from my apartment, but at my friends you can see the vatican from his WINDOW! the view at night is beyond amazing!

i live with 3 other girls from AU and they're all fabuluous! for the most part, i've just been hanging out with AU people, but i'm sure that will change a little when i actually start class on tuesday. although a lot of the AU people are taking digital photography with me too.

Yesterady and today we went on a walking tour through rome. Yesterday we saw the Trevi Fountain (which is so incredible), lots of squares and piazzas, St. Agnes Church (where you can still see St. Agnes' head btw...it's freakishly small, and somewhat disappointing), the pantheon and the Spanish Steps (one of the most famous shopping areas!!!). We were walking and we turned a corner into a small campo and there was the Pantheon just sitting there looking so out of place, but it was gorgeous. the art inside is beautiful and Rafael is buried there, along with a few kings i believe. and maybe a pope too. i can't really remember.

today was the ancient rome tour. looooots of cool stuff. it's hard to describe it all because a lot of it i hadn't heard of before, but a lot of the ruins and things that originated in the b.c./a.d. time frame. we did get to go to the Roman Forum and that was pretty cool. The view from the top was awesome because it encompassed so much in one view. I saw where Caesar was murdered, and where he was cremated and his funeral was at, it ended with the Colosseum...it was so cool just to see it. it's so famous in history, everyone has at least heard of it...and i was standing inside of it today!! a lot of the center floor has been removed (or just fallen, but i think it was purposely removed) and you could see all the underneathes and hallways where the animals and gladiators were kept. There's still a lot of excavation and rennovation taking place too.

it's been A LOT of walking, so we're all pretty exahausted. my next post will be about all the amazing food, because that deserves a post of it's own.


i have a couple of different posts ready to put up, but seeing as my laptop won't connect to the internet and i'm on the hotel's laptop, i can't put them up. i have pictures to go with them.

it was a long long day, and i'm pretty tired. i walked around Trastevere today. it's very old looking. cobbled streets and pink buildings. every now and then you'll see the reminders of time that haunt the streets. there are many restaraunts up and down the different "vias" and a few piazzas, and lots of gelato. i've seen several "gelaterias" but i haven't gotten any yet. i had to eat alone tonight, that was kind of depressing. i forgot my book so i was just kind of sitting there. boy, italians sure do know how to get your money from you. they bring bread to your table, and then charge you 2.50 for it! lol...ridiculous.

the hotel im at only has 5 rooms. mine's really nice, and i have pictures too...hopefully tomorrow i'll be able to connect on my computer and post my pics and whatnot. tomorrow is when i meet all the rest of the people from JCU so i'm excited!!! :)

im super tired now so im going to go read and go sleep...

so let's run through my checklist:

clothes to last me 6 weeks - check
passport and papers - check
hotel room for my early arrival - check (although i'm somewhat nervous about that...)
music and powercord- check
converters - check
sunglasses - check
toiletries - check
shoes - check
sheets and pillow - check
king george - check (he goes everywhere with me)
camera - check
laptop - check (kind of...i won't leave without it)
Euros - check
travel books on Italy, Rome, and traveler's guide to italian - check (i didn't get one on europe as a whole though, i hope i don't regret that)
AIRPLANE TICKET! - check (btw, WHO in the hell doesn't do e-tickets anymore?!?)

i think i'm pretty good. but i'm sure there's something i'll forget, i always do....

HI! so this is where i'll be posting about all my great adventures while in europe this summer! i'm pretty bad at keeping a blog or anything, but i feel that this is an exception, and i'll want the records and memories for later. I'll be posting pictures here to go with my blogs as well, but most of my other pictures will be up at http://s199.photobucket.com/albums/aa151/Ohmygoshi/ (be sure to check out the Stella album too! she's the 18 month old i sit for in dc and she's absolutely adorable!)

So, i'm less than two days away from flying out and i really haven't packed a single thing. i'm still UNpacking from moving back home. it's been pretty crazy. i hate packing, so i hate unpacking too. I am SO excited for this trip! i know it's going to be absolutely amazing. i'm so excited for the people i'm going to meet and the places i'm going to see! it's my first time to europe, but hopefully won't be my last! to say that this year so far has been trying would be an understatement, so i'm ready for this summer! i really want to see as much as possible, but then there's that whole issue of money...

ahhh it's going to be GREAT though! please leave your comments! i love reading them!!
I'm a twenty-something girl going to school in Washington D.C. My life is anything but ordinary, and I everytime I think I find the meaning of life, they change it. I originally hail from Small-Town, Florida. Somewhere that I never really appreciated til I left. I started this blog as a way to keep in touch with friends and family while I was studying abroad in Rome, but then I kind of liked it once I was back, and decided to keep it around.

This blog was originally started to document my 6-week summer in Rome, hence the title. However, after I returned, I decided to keep it up and continue posting about my life. I can't really tell you about myself without giving a long list of adjectives that, in the end, only gives you a vague description of who I really am. I've broken hearts and I've been heartbroken, neither are fun and neither are fair. I'm learning more about myself everyday, and this is where i go to write about what I've learned.

I'm learning how to take life day-by-day. I'm a plan-aholic, meaning I like to have everything planned out as to what's going to happen. But reality rarely follows my plans. I enjoy lazy days, good books, sunny days with temps in the low 70s, taking pictures, Coach handbags. Random, I know, but that's me.