I wish...

There are times when I wish...
...I had the stomach to be a doctor, the brains to be a biochemist, or the grace to be a ballerina.

...I had the timing to be a comedian, the courage to be a soldier, or the vision to be an architect.

...I had the talent to win an Olympic gold-medal, the charm to be an actor, or the knowledge to be an inventor.

...I had the patience to be a teacher, the powers to save the world, or the money to feed the hungry.

...I had the words to write a novel, the money to see the world, or the ears to hear music before it's written.

...I had the creativity to be a designer, the spontaneity to be an adventurer, or the camera to be a photographer.

There are times when I wish I had 10x more than I do now. I wish for the skies and the stars to all be mine. I wish for the ability to fly and be free from the gravity that is pulling me down. I wish for money in the bank to cure all my problems.

But then there are the times when I look around and see my friends waiting for our next adventure through DC, or my family with their arms wide open for me. I see the filled photo frames and the diplomas as missions accomplished. I see the uncertainty of what's next as a blank canvas ready to be explored and painted with the colors of my choosing.

So, I tuck the wishes and dreams away, saving them for shooting stars, birthday candles, and wishbones. I already have more than I could ever wish for.

5 things I could live without

1. Humidity
   
2. Frizzy hair
3. Unemployment
4. Rain that seems to NEVER end
5. Hangovers
   

Make the most of all this sadness

What's your favorite song? What makes it your favorite? Is it the lyrics? The music arrangement? Maybe it just touches you at the right moment, and you fall in love. For me, that song is John Mayer's Slow Dancing In A Burning Room. From the very first second, the guitar sounds like it's crying and it sets the mood for the entire song. It's not a happy love song, but one that so many of us can relate to. That raw feeling of knowing it's ending, but wanting so desperately for it not to. I connected with this song right as my relationship was falling to pieces, and it fit so perfectly into every emotion I was feeling. One might think it's a masochistic tendency to keep going back to it, but something about it just draws me back in. I'm done with that part of my life. I've locked the door and thrown away the key. It was a wild and crazy relationship that was filled with so many emotions, but in the end, it wasn't working.

...

Tonight I was perusing the So You Think You Can Dance forums. I came across a discussion about the Katee/Joshua routine by Wade Robson set to Slow Dancing In A Burning Room. While I loved the routine, and the dancers, it left me wanting more. It's not that I didn't enjoy it when performed by Katua (Katee and Joshua's nickname, of course), but I felt like it lacked something. I then found out that Wade had actually choreographed a longer piece and filmed it with Pam Chu and Ben Susak:



I fell in love with it instantly. Everything about it is filled with so much emotion and intensity, it's almost impossible to take your eyes off the screen in fear that you might miss something. There's a raw, intense passion between the dancers and it's captivating. It's the small things, like how she pounds on his chest at 1:24, and he kicks her from behind at 1:33. The jumping from fighting to loving in a matter of seconds is so powerful. The pain they express is impossible to deny, and your heart breaks for them a million times over. I've watched it at least 10 times tonight already, and everytime I see something new that I hadn't seen the 9 other times before.

It's a dance of destruction, and it couldn't be more beautiful.

Ohmygoshiification

I think it has a certain ring to it...no? What about Ohmygoshiify? Let's just say that choosing my facebook vanity URL just got a lot harder!

At a loss

Lately, I've been at a loss of things to write about. Perhaps it's because I'm feeling slightly on the down side of life right now and I don't want to bring all that negativity here. No one likes Debbie Downer. Four years ago when I started school, I had grand plans of coming out with a fabulous job and doing something GREAT! But then the whole recession thing kicked in, and the markets plummeted, and suddenly it was all "Whoa, what about all the GREAT things I can do! Look at me! Please?! No? Ok....". I'm going stir-crazy right now. It's nice to sit around and do nothing for the first week, maybe two. But after that, the novelty of the idea wears off. There are only so many TV shows I can watch and Tweets I can read without feeling exhausted from doing absolutely nothing. I get tired of looking through job listings all promising "$1000 a week! Entry-level!".

Two nights ago some friends and I ventured out to see good ole' Abe. We had a private showing of some of the nation's great monuments, and it was pretty cool. I sat on the cool, grey, marble steps, looking out at the illuminated Washington Monument and Capital Hill beyond that, and I just took it all in. The sky was dark blue with a pink and orange glow from the city lights. It was cool enough to keep most of the mosquitoes away, but not enough to be cold. I'm tired of being sad and feeling like a huge disappointment. I want to do something GREAT this summer. I don't know what that's going to be yet. I'm thinking of maybe taking a picture everyday and posting it as a sort of memoir for this Summer. Or maybe I'll try to go to a different museum everyday. Maybe I'll try to discover a new musical artist every week. I want to do something different. I want to learn and explore and take advantage of this freedom I've been blessed with. I'm working on a couple of different photo projects right now. I have frames all laid out on my floor as a constant reminder to get it done and up on the wall. Who knows, maybe I'll find my fabulous job on accident while on a great adventure this summer.

What should I do? Help me think of some fun (and cheap) activities to fill my days as I continue to look for a job.

Kindly shutup.

I'm not going to lie...I am really REALLY tired of people asking me "SO! How's the job search going?!". Trust me when I say, that when I get a job, the whole entire world will know. I will shout it from the rooftops and be overly ecstatic about it. But until then, let's just assume I'm still working on it and not bring it up anymore. I get that it's the question everyone wants to ask any new college graduate. But as someone who is currently living it right now, it gets old. It's bad enough that I have panic attacks every day about not being gainfully employed, but when I get questioned about it everytime I talk to someone, it damn near maddening.

Now, moving on to a topic that doesn't involve the letters J-O-B....wait, I don't have much else to talk about. It's kinda boring here in Nowhere Land. The good news is, I'm almost completely caught up on all the TV I missed this season! Just a few more shows to go. I don't know what I'll do when I run out. Anyone have any good ones they can recommend?

Gosh, I'm so pathetic.

Cue the music, I'M BACK

why hello sweet blog o' mine! oh how I've missed you! First and foremost, a great big thanks to all my guest bloggers! y'all rock. Let's do a quick recap of what the past month has been like for me:

• FINALS
• got sick
• Family came into town
• GRADUATION
• Packing
• Moving
• Grad Party
• Summer

These past few weeks have been a blur. A good blur, but a blur nonetheless. I'm now officially and totally moved in to my new digs, and I'm loving it. The roomies are all really cool, and the house is awesome. My room is awesome. It's just good stuff all around. It's strange waking up and realizing "hey, it's Thursday, and I have NOTHING to do today!". It's also pretty boring, although I will admit I've caught up on a lot of my favorite tv shows thanks to all this free time. I've been spending my days looking for a job (hello Unemployment. I don't like you), and enjoying this absolutely MAGNIFICENT weather we're experiencing in DC. I'm back just in time for the premiere of So You Think You Can Dance tonight on Fox. Get excited!

Since I've been gone so long, I thought I would host a giveaway as a sorts of apologies. It's for all my movie lovers. I have THREE seperate Free Month Trial cards for Netflix that I want to give to you! I, myself, am a big fan of Netflix and all that they offer. Not only is the delivery super fast, but there's also a TON of streaming movies/tv shows available through the website. So, if you've been on the fence about whether or not to sign-up, here's your chance to try it out for free for a month!

Here's how to enter:

• Leave me a comment that includes the words "I love movies!"
  
• For two entries you can tweet about it
• For three entries you can blog about it
• And for an automatic win you can find me a sweet job in the Advertising/PR industry
  

Make sure you let me know each time you enter so I can accurately keep track.

So there you go. What better way to enjoy the summer than with a free month of movies? The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on May 31. I'll pick three winner at random and have them sent off by the 1st of June!

Happy Thursday!

The World Spins Madly On…

Yay for besties!! I hope all of you have one as awesome amazing as I do! I was wondering what to write about for today’s post…I was supposed to write it yesterday but I had a freak-out moment about my lack of employment and didn’t write it. Instead I spent a little time dry heaving with fear that I will be poor and living in my parents’ house for the rest of my life.

As I was sitting at the computer today, I started thinking of all the things I could write about…the Josh Groban concert we attended, the Girl Scout Olympics events we would compete in as partners (3-legged race champs, don’t you know), and then I realized something pretty funny: we’ve been friends for eighteen years. Yup, our moms met when my mother was rather pregnant with my younger sister…who turns 18 in less than a week. So, it’s funny to note that our friendship is (finally) of age. I figured there would be no better story to tell on this momentous occasion of our friendship’s 18^th birthday than the story of what she and our other best friend (we’re quite the trio) and one other friend did to me for my 18^th birthday.

I was the last one of the bunch to turn 18. Pancakes’ (name changed to protect the very, very guilty) birthday was (is!) March 26^th and Ohmygoshi’s was (is) April 8^th (and don’t you dare forget it), so as the August 5^th baby, I’m always the last to celebrate everything. I’d planned to have a quiet night in with my family for my 18^th birthday…I’d never been one for clubs (still not), so I figured I’d hunker down for an episode of Law and Order: SVU and chill out for the evening.

Until my friends showed up at my door and announced they were kidnapping me. They made me change into “club clothes” (or as “clubby” as I could get after spending the summer working at Jesus Camp), put me in Ohmygoshi’s car (it was your car, right?) and blindfolded me. Awesome. Thirty minutes later we arrived at our desired location and I figured they’d taken me to Club Paris or Firestone or someplace downtown.

Nope. They’d taken me to Parliament House. If you live in Orlando, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, I’ll give you three words: Raunchy Gay Bar. That’s right, I spent my 18^th birthday in a gay bar watching drag queens lip synch to Gloria Gaynor and Cher, getting leered at by suspicious-looking individuals and just generally enjoying the shirtless men dancing on platforms, etc. Too bad they were all uninterested in me.

All in all, it was a hilarious night in which Pancakes was asked to dance several times by a guy that was incredibly creepy (and, I guess, bi), I saw my first drag show, and I laughed harder than I ever thought I could. So, when Ohmygoshi comes home next, we’ll have to celebrate the 18^th birthday of our friendship.

We’re just not taking it to Parliament House.

The one where Dr. Bolte takes over

so when ohmygoshi asked me to guestblog during her last few weeks of college (congrats! you're amazing!), i at first thought that i would be pretty bogged down myself--wedding planning, finals by proxy for the bff, work, dissertation, etc. etc. etc.--but when the smoke cleared a little bit and i had some time to breathe, i thought it would be a fun way to help out a bloggy friend.

then came the dilemma...what to write about? i thought about doing something deep and meaningful, about perhaps the rather discouraging job market, which i knew would resonate with several of her readers for whom this particular issue is throwing curveballs into a life already planned. serious is good, i thought. serious can make people think.

and then i wondered what on earth i, who is just trying to take a step of faith at a time myself, could possibly offer anyone. so amid all of this subconscious musing, the answer presented itself this morning, as i was doing my hair.

(don't doubt the power of uninterrupted bathroom time.)

i was putting a headband in my hair, a stopgap measure because i a) didn't want to blowdry it completely and b) didn't want it to just hang there like a dead animal. (my hair tends to do that when i'm growing it out...) and i realized....i have never truly understood nor mastered the art of the headband.

thus we come to my topic, which actually might be a little anticlimactic after all of this lead-in, but here we go: fashion trends that i've never really understood or have been able to successfully introduce into my life.

1--the headband.

i like them, i really do. i quite admire them when successfully worn by others, usually girls who have exceptional style. they can be thin or quite thick, and can add so much to an outfit.

but how do you know what to do with your hair? how do you get them to not plaster your hair down and give you the equivalent of helmet head? except, of course, it would be headband head? is there a particular head/face shape that makes one more successful than others?

2--uggs.

i know many before me have philosophized on the merits of uggs or the lack thereof, but i just don't understand why ANYONE would wear them. let me back up. if i lived in the Great White North, i might embrace the idea of them. but really? all i think about is how smelly those things must get with the sweaty feet that inevitably result in a FLEECE-FILLED BOOT. maybe it's the florida in me. but it just doesn't make sense.

plus, they're ugly.

and i have now been the very last person to have talked about this.

3--bubble dresses.

okay, way back in the day, bubble dresses REALLY looked like bubbles. i probably have the terminology wrong for what i now am referring to as bubble dresses, but i mean those short dresses that are baggy until they reach the hem, which is several inches thick, and gets tight around the thighs. you know what i mean.

i don't get it. i don't understand why anybody really wears them. i'm sure i'll offend someone here, but i just think they're hideous and i haven't any idea why anyone would think that they were attractive?

i suppose i could go on and on, and those who have seen my addiction to cardigan sweaters could critique my fashion sense, but there you go. things i don't understand, can't embrace (and don't want to embrace), or wish that i could integrate into my own wardrobe.

as if life wasn't tough enough, you know? why does fashion have to be more difficult?

Pony Tails

The lovely Ohmygoshi and I connected via TwentySomethingBloggers and Twitter sometime last year. I don’t keep up with 20SB as well as I should, but Twitter and I are still tight. When she asked me to guest blog I was excited because I never guest blog and the content on my blog, Thoughts from Meggie Poo, has been sparse since I apparently prefer TV and sleeping more than sitting down and cranking out a post or two. I’ve decided to write a post similar to one Amanda wrote a little bit ago, and also similar to a running commentary in the fab book I’m reading by Jen Lancaster (Bright Lights, Big Ass). So I’m writing an Open Letter Post.

An open letter to my sisters:

Dear Big Sis 1 and Big Sis 2,

I love you dearly. And I love my name. I am well aware that my life would have been drastically different without your influence and friendship. I am also very grateful that even as two and five-year-olds you knew not to give me a crazy name when our parents let you have the honor of naming me, your forever cute and adorable little sister. With this gratitude you should also know that I feel huge amounts of relief that there was a human on the show “My Little Pony”, which was your favorite cartoon. Had there not been a human named Megan living in that magical land full of colorful talking ponies, I would not have been given my name: Meghan. Your sweet little bubble gum filled brains could have given me the name Starlight, Bright Eyes, Clover or Bon- Bon- just like the lovable equines- but instead, you chose Meghan. So thank you, sisters. Thank you.

Love,

Starli… errr Meghan

I often think about what my life what have been like had I been named Starlight. I don’t think my parents would have let the situation get that far, but what if…